Joseph Carter ~ Armillary series Volume one

Chapter One: A Slip of the Tongue

Anyone walking outside Sixteen Terracotta terrace that day would have thought it just an ordinary house on an ordinary street. Anyone who looked in through the second story window, however, would have left thinking that perhaps this was no ordinary Tuesday. If one did look they would have seen Joseph Carter, a seemingly normal sixteen-year-old, grappling with a pair of flying blue underwear. Contrary to popular belief, this was completely normal to Joseph himself and considered a daily routine. Given that no one had ever looked through the second-floor window of sixteen Terracotta Terrace and that for obvious reasons Joseph kept his bedroom door locked, these strange occurrences went completely unnoticed by all but a tiny blue creature who resided in Josephs sock drawer. This creature, although convenient in choice of home and completely unnoticed by Joseph, had absolutely nothing to do with the case of the flying underpants and was merely content to spectate this unorthodox sport.

When Joseph had disposed of his airborne briefs he unbolted his bedroom door and walked down the narrow flight of steps to the kitchen. Having dropped out of school to pursue hairdressing in a tertiary education course, and this being the month of December, Joseph was currently on holiday. Before reaching the bottom, however, a dreadful shout echoed through the house, a shout Joseph immediately knew belonged to his stepfather. On his older brother's seventeenth birthday four years ago both Josephs brother George and father Fridtjof had mysteriously disappeared, leaving him and his grieving mother to look after their large house and Joseph's schooling fees. In an effort to cheer her up Joseph had recommended she try dating, which is how she met Cyril. The shout of "Boy, Get Down Here And Get Me A Stubby" had to be Cyril's as he also happened to be an abusive alcoholic. After grabbing one from the large double doored fridge in their massive kitchen Joseph walked into the lounge and passed it to his stepfather, who happened to be watching wrestling on the Television.

"Here you go, Cyril" Joseph snapped

"Don't use that tone on me, you scrawny bastard and don't you dare call me Cyril again or you'll know about it."

"Fine, Sir"

Surprisingly Cyril wasn't at all amused by his name and often complained about it. Seeing an opportunity to leave among Cyril's death stares, Joseph slipped away onto the back veranda where his mother sat watching his little sister play in the yard. Joseph's mother was sickly, having a heart condition that made sure that her body had never truly had enough blood or oxygen for that matter. She also happened to be extremely rich which is the main reason Cyril stayed. With Cyril's utter neglect and his mother's poor health, Joseph was the only one left to look after his sister, who didn't take kindly to nannies or babysitters. Strolling across the freshly mown grass of the backyard Joseph stooped down into the sandpit so that he was at his five-year-old sister's height and began to play with her. After a good two minutes she looked up and said:

"Hi Jo-Jo, do you like my sandcastle?"

"It's brilliant Nora, how did you make it?"

"With this." She announced enthusiastically and held up Joseph's old school hat, now damp and covered in gritty sand.

Stifling both a laugh and a few rather unsatisfactory words he leant forward and asked as calmly as possible,

"Where'd you get that Nora?"

"It was in Dads room under his bed," she stated nonchalantly

"Under Cyril's bed, Nora."

"You can't call him that Joseph, he'll smack you."

"Smack me, but he never... Has he hit you, Nora?" Joseph asked angrily.

"Yeah, he always does when Mums not looking and when I start to cry he says I fell over but I didn't Jo, I swear."

At this point Joseph had stopped listening because poking its head out of his sister's sandcastle and holding a badge saying 'Hi my name is André' was an eight-inch high, pot-bellied and crooked-nosed creature who was very much and extremely a dark shade of blue.

It simply waved.

Joseph scrambled backwards rubbing his eyes vigorously, the small blue thing named André remaining as clear as day. Nora looked panicked and grabbed onto Joseph's arm asking worriedly:

"What is it Joey, what's all the shaking for?"

"For that." Joseph pointed at André who was now doing cartwheels, Nora Shook her head in a confused manner.

"For what Jo?

"For the love of... the little blue man doing handstands on your sandcastle"

"What little blue man?"

"you mean you can't... you say he... what?" Joseph rambled, utterly befuddled

"I've got an idea, maybe Dad will know what it is."

"No don't..." But it was too late, Josephs over-excitable little sister was already running toward the open back door. Joseph Knew exactly how Cyril was going to react to this news and hence Joseph began to think up a worthy excuse.