Choices To Make (Finding Love, Series Book 3)

It's Always Been Him (Chapter 36)

MONDAY...

I stared at the two pictures on my laptop- one of Rocky, and the other of Riker, I groaned before slamming it shut, and plopping back on my bed sighing.

"You alright?" I looked over finding Liam standing in the doorway.

"Not really." I sighed sitting up and running a hand through my hair.

"What's on your mind?" He leaned against the doorframe.

"I have to make a decision by the end of the summer, and the boys are not letting me forget this. They both left me voicemails today saying they only want what's best for me, and they want me happy- even if it means them getting hurt!"

"Hey, calm down. May, you're overthinking this."

"No, I'm not thinking enough about this."

"No you're over doing it- you're pushing yourself to the point where you're so stressed out, you can hardly sleep."

"You know about that?" I asked sheepishly.

"Yeah, I'm not dumb, I hear you in the kitchen at two in the morning, May." He gave me a look.

"Sorry, I guess you're right- but I still need to make a decision about this."

"Okay, well, think about your time that you spent with each of them, what you loved and what you hated- then go from there."

"Alright. I will, thanks Liam."

"But can I ask you a question real quick?"

"Sure, what is it?"

"I hate to ask you this but did you really like Rocky, or was he just a rebound from Riker?"

"Liam! How can you say that?! Of course not!"

"I'm sorry May, I was just wondering considering how everything happened."

"It's okay- but that's so not true. I feel awful for hurting him."

"Does he know that?" I shook my head, "Well, then maybe he should know May." He left after saying those words, I knew I had a lot to think about, but how was I ever going to try and make a decision.

HOURS LATER...

I sat on my balcony. I still didn't know who to choose, even though I'd taken Liam's advice, I still just couldn't figure it out. It was chillier out today, and the gray sky matched my mood as I shivered, tears falling.

"Lord, why can't I just make a decision. Please guide me towards the right one." I prayed softly as the clouds rumbled and lightening flashed across the sky.

"May?" I looked up seeing Liam standing there, he reached for the blanket on the end of my bed, and sat down putting it around me, sitting next to me as I laid my head on his shoulder.

"What do I do?"

"What do you usually do when you need to make a big decision and you can't decide?"

"I usually talk to Mom and Dad."

"Then let's go." He smiled and took my hand, we arrived at my parents, just after it had started pouring, and we hurried inside the door.

"Mom, Dad- it's us!" Liam called through the house.

"In the kitchen!" Mom called out and we headed that way.

"Leah! Liam!" Lila exclaimed running over and giving us each a hug.

"Well good grief- you two are soaked!" Mom scolded us before Dad went to get us each a towel.

"So, what's the purpose of this surprise visit?" Dad questioned us, and we couldn't help but smile knowing that our Dad knew us too well.

"Well, May, needs some advice- she's wrestling with a big decision, and she doesn't know who to choose." Liam explained before I got the chance.

"Who to choose? What do you mean?" Mom frowned before giving us our some hot chocolate and taking a seat herself at the kitchen island.

"I have to decide who I love, Riker or Rocky?"

"Wait- I thought you and Rocky weren't ever serious." Dad pointed out.

"We weren't but he just recently told me he loved me, and then they told me I had to choose who I wanted. They're not wrong, because I promised them a decision before the summer is over. Liam suggested I think about my time with them, when we dated and about how I felt but I'm still confused, after everything."

"Mayflower, you're over thinking this."

"That's what I tried to tell her Dad." I whacked his arm playfully.

"Your brother is right honey."

"I know he is Mom- but I'm just worried I'll make the wrong decision."

"But it's not the wrong decision if it's what God wants for you." She pointed out.

"I know that- but it's still not an easy decision to make. I mean how am I supposed to choose between two people I love?"

"You have to, May." I looked at Liam, worry written across my face.

"Well, how am I going to live with myself if I hurt one of them?"

"Mayflower, who ever said anything was ever easy? Did Jesus say it would be easy for Noah to make an ark? No, because he had to make sure it would fit two of every kind of animal. Did God tell Jesus it would be easy for him to forgive others for theirs sins? No, because Jesus had to die on the cross for our sins. Did you ever think it would be easy to dance again? No, because you knew it wouldn't be, but you trusted God to make the right decision, and he helped you out of that, and he'll help you through this. I promise you Mayflower, it will get easier, eventually."

"Thanks Daddy, you're right."

"Leah, who's the one person in your life, that protected you from harm, Rocky or Riker?"

I looked at Mom, knowing the answer, "That's easy, Riker. He was always there when I needed him. But then there's Rocky, who tried to help me get over Riker."

"But who broke your heart?"

I gulped looking at Dad, "Riker, but he apologized- he didn't know what he wanted at the time. But then there was Rocky- when they fought over me."

"Which one of them makes you feel loved?" Liam asked this question, and I stared at him for a moment.

"I don't know how to answer that."

"May, you have to choose, how do they make you feel, May, think about both of them, Rocky and Riker." I didn't take my eyes off of him for a moment before looking at my Mom, and then my eyes trailing to my Dad's, I knew who it was- I knew which boy that held my heart.

"You're right, I don't think that falling in love with Riker and dancing again was just a coincidence. And what are the odds that one day, I fall in love, and after years of not dancing- this boy sparks something in me that makes me want to dance again? It's always been Riker, it's always been Riker since day one."