A Stable Time Loop

It's his 21st birthday, and John Egbert sits on the same bed he's been sitting on for three years, doing the same amount of nothing he's been doing since the game ended. He feels... useless. Everyone else has important jobs and he doesn't. He looks fondly at his dad's hat and pipe. He misses him. He decides that he doesn't care about time anymore, and he wants to see his dad.
He thinks about what he told his friends about his zappy powers, how he said they were gone. He just didn't want to use them anymore. He was getting ready to go see his dad when he got a Snapchat from Roxy. He decides she is the only one he can confide in and she says she's going too. When she arrives at Johns house he asks if she's ready. She says "Absolutely not, let's go". So John zaps them both to the day the meteor crushes his Nanna, only to find that it had crushed his dad too. While this was devastating to John, it also didn't make sense.
"But then who raised me?" He looked down at the hat and pipe in his hands and knew that to create a stable time loop he would have to raise himself as his own father. All the things that his father did that he hated he had to do, otherwise the loop would be broken. He turned to Roxy. "I have to stay and raise myself. You go to Rose, I'm worried she's going through the same thing."
"But what about Jade and Dave?"
"Well Jades grandfather was a lot older. If that needs to happen it'll be years from where are friends are before Jake needs to go back."
"And Dave?"
"Well, we'll check on him before I send you to Rose."
So they zapped to the day Dave's meteor crushed Bro's record store, conveniently around the corner in case they needed to zap in front of the store another time. The meteor crushed Bro.
"Shit"
And they went to Dirk in the present, explained the situation, and he agreed to go back. When they got there, as Dirk sat there holding Dave, a tear fell down his cheek.
"But, Dave hated me. Do I have to be this way?" John put a hand on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry, but yes," he turned to Roxy and addressed both of them. "As much as they may have disliked us, we have to be that person. And now we are the right ages. We need to do this, or time will be messed up. We don't have a choice."
Dirk looked up at John for a moment, then wiped his eyes and stood. "I should go raise this little guy I guess. I'll teach him sword fighting, and irony. I'll introduce him to Cal." He smiled halfheartedly, and walked toward the tallest apartment building in the city. He turned back, "We'll see each other again."
Roxy let out a tear, but quickly wiped it before John could see her cry. "Okay John, let's go see my Rose." They zapped to where Rose's meteor appeared. When it landed, it crushed Mom. Roxy stepped out to meet it instead. She picked up little Rose and started sobbing.
"Roxy, no, please don't cry." John held her hand.
"But John, I have to be this terrible person to my daughter. I gave up drinking, now I have to go back to it. I-" she stopped. "No, John I can do it. I'll stick it out knowing that we meet again, one day in the future. Even if we know how our stories end, it doesn't mean we can't enjoy the ride while we're on it." She looked at him. "Goodbye John." She began to walk away.
"Wait, Roxy!" He ran after her and grabbed her arms.
"What is it Joh-" and he kissed her.
When he pulled back she saw the glow surrounding John increase, and he zapped away as he said "Goodbye Ro-".
He went back to the day his own meteor crashed, around the street corner so he wouldn't bother his past self and Roxy. When they zapped away to go get Dirk, he stepped out and picked himself up. He put the hat on his head and the pipe in his mouth. He knew what he had to do.
After he had Nanna cremated he placed her neatly on the mantle, just how he remembered Dad placing it. He raised himself just how his Dad raised him, but only did so with the promise of seeing Roxy again. He knew how their story ended, but he was willing to enjoy the ride while he was on it.