The Marauders: Year Five #Wattys2017

The Life of Newt Scamander

Far off in the wood - the wolf howled.

Something was nudging Remus... something dry and coarse... warm air hit his face, like opening an oven door, only it smelled like burned toast and embers... He opened his eyes and found himself staring into two very wide, green-scale-rimmed nostrils... a long, skinny forked tongue flickered at him and he gasped, rolling over quickly, away from the baby dragon. He rolled right onto Sirius, who was back to being himself again, but passed out on the ground. The dragon staggered forward, too, his great big feet thumping the ground so hard it shook and Remus's back pressed against Sirius's as the dragon sniffed him curiously, the heat of his steamy, stinky breath hitting Remus again in the face.

There was a loud call - something like Remus would've imagined a dinosaur to sound like - and the baby dragon lifted its head, looking. The adult dragon was on the way...

"I'm not a snack, I'm not a snack, I don't taste good..." Remus murmured, and he shook Sirius's shoulder. "Time to get up, unless you fancy being eaten."

"Don't eat me, Rey," murmured Sirius.

"Not me, you git. The dragons."

"Dragons...?"

"Yes. Dragons. Green Welsh ones, remember?"

The baby dragon seemed to want to remind Sirius for it had snuck about and leaned down into Sirius's face and his tongue flickered into Sirius's ear, making Remus jump back as Sirius waved his hand, "Stop it, Moony."

"That. Wasn't. Me." Remus said.

Sirius opened his eyes then and saw the dragon.

"Holy Hippogriff balls!" he cried jerking back, rolling into Remus's lap. "I've been wet willied by a dragon!"

Remus gripped Sirius under his armpits and pulled him up to his feet, pointing across the habitat at the adult - mummy, daddy, whatever it was! - which was fed up with it's baby not coming to its call and was coming to inspect what was keeping it busy. "I reckon that one's just going to swallow us whole instead of taking licks, what do you think?"

"Bloody hell."

The two of them rushed to the glass elevator, the baby dragon frolicking after them, making little snorting sounds so that black clouds of smoke puffed out of it's nostrils, his wings flapping in agitation that his new playthings were running away... The adult dragon ran faster, seeing it's baby was upset, and the great wide wings spread and the dragon flew quickly across the habitat, arriving, breathing fire over the whole scene. The fire slammed into the glass elevator doors, which had just closed, slamming the glass with its force. Sirius and Remus both pressed their backs to the far side of the cart, eyes wide.

"Could use a tums, you could," said Sirius to the dragon calmly.

Remus looked over at him in disbelief at his calmness as the cart lowered to the next level, the dragon shrieking at them as they went, the fire still hitting the elevator's shaft above. He started laughing.

"What?" Sirius asked.

"You... You always have some quirky thing to say," Remus hooted, laughing so hard there were tears in his eyes, "I've been wet willied by a dragon!" He wheezed.

Sirius said, "Well that's what it's done to me!"

Remus doubled over, gripping his knees. He was dizzy - still horribly fuzzy minded from the transformations, his muscles sore, but the memory of Sirius's squeaking, squealing voice... he couldn't stop.

"Do you remember the time that James gave Pete a wet willy in potions?" wheezed Remus, "And he squeaked and tipped over that whole cauldron of cough elixir? And Slughorn had a fit?"