No More Wishes (Cheating!Reiner X Bertholdt Fanfic)

Part 2

When he began to do such, Reiner felt his member harden- but in a way he hadn't experienced before. Right now, he was getting turned on from no less than anticipation. When he was with his mistresses, there was no excitement, no desire, no euphoria, nothing like this. Reiner felt something nagging at him, slowly eating away at his abdomen. Guilt.

Yes, this couldn't be what he deserved, was it?

He was always running away from his husband to join other women. Reiner hated himself, and he knew he was an abhorrent, twisted asshole, but he couldn't help himself. The only way to escape the enormous amounts of stress he was put under as the vice president of his company was to drown himself  in ravenous sex. It all began with his secretary making advances on him. Before he could even think, his lips had slammed onto hers, leading to a messy, sexual encounter. It killed him, but his body refused to stop. His arms refused to let go of the woman moaning underneath him, though his mind screamed at him to stop. No use. His body had finally cracked under all the pressure, and all the pent up desires were dissipating into memory by occupying himself with something more...delectable.

Soon, he had found himself enjoying it. It wasn't the woman's sexual appeal, god no, but the feeling of absolute and complete release from reality's punishments itself. Reiner's sexual appetite wasn't demanding, but having complete authority and control over someone - the ability to monopolize and manipulate them - was far too tempting for him, especially with the sinking feeling of his life falling out of control.

Reiner always believed he could have felt at ease with just his husband around. They'd been childhood friends, classmates, and lovers their whole lives. Initially, just returning home to see Bertholdt's smiling face, warm eyes, and kind encouragement helped him pull through. It gave him purpose to continue to strive and work harder - because he so badly wanted to nourish and secure the amazing future that laid ahead of the couple. But something was obstructing that vision, blurring it so badly it became harder and harder to feel.

Erwin Smith.

Erwin had also been their classmate in high school, but exclusively Bertholdt's  friend. It was obvious that he expressed romantic interest for the other male, but Bertholdt was clueless about the other's feelings. Such distraught, unrequited love was meant to be abandoned, but Erwin fueled those feelings day by day. 6 years later, they had met again, this time, not just classmates, but as boss and coworker.

Erwin's physical appearance hadn't undergone much change, but he had certainly gained charisma that would have charmed anyone. In addition, he had become so much more social and leader-like. What didn't change in the least, however, was his unyielding affection towards Bertholdt. It made Reiner terribly insecure- not because he didn't think Bertholdt to be unfaithful (really, it was almost like he was completely oblivious to any flirting)- but because Reiner knew he couldn't compare to the well-built, collected, successful man.

Reiner was stubborn and arrogant, Erwin was understanding and flexible. Reiner was poor in time management, and got into fights often. Erwin had his schedule planned out for months and was always the mediator in a heated situation. Reiner had average looks. Erwin had captured the heart of every female he walked past. Reiner had a bad attitude, but Erwin was possibly the epitome of cordiance and amiability.

All in all, Erwin was definitely the more successful, more pleasant person. His characteristics were flawless- enough to sweep Bertholdt off his feet. It was a painful realization- an almost unbearable insecurity haunting him every moment. His thoughts were always occupied with trepidations of Bertholdt's heart being placed in another man's hands, and it began to show on his work. Reiner was more easily strained and pressured, and the quality of his work was deteriorating. He was constantly threatened to be fired or demoted if he didn't pick up the slack.