I'm in Love with My Best Friend.

The Difficulties

Its very difficult for me to tell my number one secret to the public. I have a big-time crush on my best friend. I have known him for at least three years or more. His name is Chance. He may be older than me by two years but it doesn't bother me. Age is just a number and if we truly care about each other then nothing should stop us from being together. I can't explain the color of his eyes, how the sound of his voice gives me butterflies, how his smile makes my heart skip a beat and how every time I'm with him, I feel so complete. I wish he would just understand how much he means to me and how difficult it is for me to be away from him, even for a short period of time. I can barely stand staying away from him for one night. I can hardly sleep at night because every time I close my eyes I see him smiling at someone else. Every time I have a dream, I dream of something very bad happening to him. 

I met him and my entire life changed before I even knew his name. 

His name plays over and over in my head 24/7. I am completely and unquestionably in love with him.

I took a chance and told him how I felt. It didn't end up how I wanted. If anything it was completely different. We fought for an entire weekend over why we should and shouldn't be together. 

Chance spoke to me at school on Monday. "Look, I understand how much you like me and how badly you want to be with me," No,Chance, you don't. You don't know how badly I want... No. How badly I need to be with you. "But we both know that it just can't happen. I'm sorry." And he walked away.

So far today I haven't heard from him. I saw him,though, he was sitting with Christian and his group of friends. 

I wanted so badly to go over to that table and talk to him about what had happened. 

My heart still skips a beat when I hear or even think his name. 

He isn't in class right now. I need to see him. Now! 

This isn't just some stupid school girl crush. It isn't a crush at all. I think it's a lot more than that.