Falling

Childhood #1

One.

I always had vivid nightmares since the beginnings of my memories.

I think i was around two, three years old when i remembered things. Then came the awful nightmares. I cried so loudly from
the my first two or three nightmares, waking my parents from my apparent cries of distress.

After i adapt to it; it doesn't mean that i had a comfortable sleep.
In fact, the nightmares i had was tougher to overcome and more
frightening then as my age increases.

Here's a few fragments of a nightmare when i was around three
years old: It's my bedroom yet not mine, there a toddler crying in
the background but its not me. There are shadows around me that i couldn't comprehend. I am trapped on my bed, paralyzed from
the fear that i don't understand. I wanted to call out to my parents, but a voice in me tells me to be quiet and not to move even a inch
of my body. Be patient, the voice cooed and i will be safe from the things around me.

This was when i was around four years old: I sat up from my new
bed and jumped out from my covers purely out of instinct. There
is something extremely strange and dangerous about my new,
innocent looking bed. The 'clowns holding balloons' pattern of my
bedsheets and the lego craving of the wooden bed frame scares
me for some reason. I didn't know how exactly, but to describe the feeling; being eaten by the 'living' bed. I stood by the door readied
myself to bolt out of the door the moment the 'bed' moved.

This was when i was around five years old: I woke up, but i knew
that i was still sleeping. The bedside lamp was still alight so it was
not the darkness that scared me. The room had a sense of
emptiness that was simply overwhelming and the slience was
foreboding. My eyes was darting around my room to look for anything that seemed out of place, yet everything seemed normal. Then a sharp click of my doorknob made me jump,in slow motion, the door started to open by itself...my eyes widen in fear.

This was when i was around six years old: My house was a twisted black and white painting on a wall and i was staring at it. When i turned around to look at my surroundings i realise that i am standing in the mirror image of the painting. Everything was foreign to me, yet it was the house i lived in since my birth. I didn't know to be afraid or lost from being in this predicament. I tried to navigate my way to my room but i couldn't find my room, it seemed like forever that i am walking in circles to find my way, even if there was only one hallway in my house.

This was when i was seven years old: I couldn't differentiate whether i am in a dream or reality at first. It was when the crowd at the night market started fading away like smoke then i knew something's not right. Dark figures manifested behind the makeshift stalls, unnerved me. When my instincts kicked in and jerked me out of stupor. I ran as fast as i could to get away from the perimeter of the stalls. After a while, i had realise that the array of stalls just wouldn't end, it seemed like a futile attempt to escape from those dark figures. Breathing heavily from the exertion, i refused to give up.