From Victory

Part 1: happiness

hi my name is sam

i tend not to write in capital letters as i find it cooler that way. i am a sixteen year old, a singaporean, of a normal secondary school anyone could have.

i see him now, jacques, strolling down the street as i took a book from my locker. he's my best friend and i love him alot and not that way please, i am just good friends with him and i would prefer it to stay that way.

its not that he's not handsome or not tall enough, he is and he has those gorgeous long locks any girl would love to hold on to and puckish lips that seems to be always moist. thats not what i said i mind you, its from all those many girl admirers he has that i heard from around the school, that had always pestered me about our status and always leaving me letters that always seems to be filled with sharp paper that could pierce my skin and let all my crimson blood spill and dry me of all my hurt and sorrow buried deep within me.

that was a metaphor by the way.

'hey mas!' i hear his inherent deep voice in the midst of the chattering of the class.

'hey seuq' we call each other by the names opposite. it was all due to a lame and boring day we had when we were hanging out and it just started.

i could already feel the glares i was receiving as he made my way over to me, pulling out the chair in front of me as i pretended to be busy with my homework, which i had already finished.

'wassup? why didn't you answer my call yesterday? i wanted to eat out with you' he gave me a look with those dark brown eyes of his as he pouted.

what a pouting king he was.

'i was just sleeping dude.' i gave him a fake glare and stood up and pointed towards the toilet. 'let's go' i mouthed.

don't get me wrong we aren't going to the toilet but instead to a place of sanctuary, where I would never receive glares from any girls, from anyone, from any suckish letter.

'what's wrong?'

i stood there wanting to spill all my words but I somehow kept it all in. I did not feel the closeness I had with him anymore. I felt the distance he was getting from me, the annoying stares sometimes he gives me, the shocked faces he would give as i give responses.

i wanted to blurt out i love you to him in so many sappy ways possible from any movies that we watched before, from any books I've read, from any songs we've listened together. just for him to understand my deep rooted love.

but i couldn't.

as he already has a girlfriend.

But this story did not begin this way.

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-nui