little lolita // matty healy a.u.

one ; reminiscing

My mind instantly switched from my mothers bantering to the young girl of my past.

When we first became aquatinted, she was only five while I was nearly eleven. We were next door neighbors, our balcony's as well as our windows facing each other, which we used to our advantage to sneak in and out of our windows to play with one another. Our mothers would talk about gardening and cooking while we would play in the field behind her house. She loved for me to tell her stories, and always carefully listened to them. We were best friends.

As we aged, puberty was beginning to hit me while the little girl remained innocent. I began to become infatuated with girls, drugs, as well as other things. I left the young girl by herself in her lonely house to get wasted and have sex with the pretty women I would find at parties. I would always come home to see a note on my balcony door from Daisy saying how much she missed me.

It was not until I left for college that I had learned that her mother and father were in the process of getting a divorce due to her fathers infidelity and alcohol abuse (apparently towards the two helpless women), a fact I was angered and hurt by. How could any man fail his family like that?

To say I felt guilty for leaving my first friend alone was an understatement.

She was most likely eighteen now, a young woman. I had not seen her since our younger years, nor have I talked to her. Our last encounter was one that stuck with me through my adolescence as well as my adult years.

"Matty, what is it like to kiss people?" small Daisy inquired, leaning forward with anticipation for my answer. Her curly hair was pulled from her face with the help of her hand-made headband. She had woven a flower crown made from the weeds around our house to place on our heads, something she was rather proud of.

I informed her that's weeds were not actual flowers, to which she brushed off.

I had just turned eighteen, and she had been twelve. She was not fully comfortable with her newfound emotions towards boys and her body changing alongside those feelings. Her girlish figure was beginning to transform, and she was not fully aware of it. I was.

I did not know how to reply to the question, seeing that I was talking to a young girl. Her long blue dress fanned around her as she sat picking flowers from the soil. Her curly, brown hair was beginning to grow past her shoulders, allowing it to frame her chubby cheeks. She was gorgeous, for a child of course, as well as innocent as the flowers situated on her head.

Daisy, as an innocent as a daisy.

"Well, it is nice I guess," I replied, stumbling over my own words, making sure I was careful not to say something wrong to her. "Why do you do it?" She asked, interest weaving into her words. I shrugged, "To show that I care for that person, I guess." It wasn't completely true, seeing that I usually kissed girls to get in their pants. Yet, Daisy seemed satisfied with the answer.

"I want to kiss this boy who I really like, but I don't know how," she mumbled, pushing a strand of her unruly hair behind her ear. "You're young, Daisy, you don't need to worry about such things. Wait until you're older," I replied, taking her small palm into my larger one, only for her to yank it out. Uncomfortable, she muttered a sorry and looked down at her own lap. After moments of silence, she opened her mouth to speak until she was interrupted by someone else.

"Daisy! Come inside so you can start packing!" her mother exclaimed from their back porch, a suitcase in her hands. Daisy was to be sent away to a elementary school across the country for her to get a better education until she reached the age of fifteen. That being said, I couldn't see her until I finished college. Shewas not happy about this transition, and it was evident in her recent actions. She became more stubborn towards her parents, and I would find her crying on my balcony at times.

"I'm coming, mother!" she exclaimed back, lifting herself from the ground. She smoothed her dress down, and peered down at me. I remained on the ground, studying her face. I was not able to tell if she was upset, or anxious.

All of a sudden, she jumped onto me and wrapped her arms around my neck. I fell on my back due to the force and looked up in her eyes in shock. Her focus was trained on my mouth, and then her eyes closed as she slowly lowered her head until her lips were feathered over my own. I could not move nor think, shocked by the little girls action.

What was happening?

After what felt like a lifetime, she jumped up from her position on top of me and sprinted towards her house, leaving me alone with my screaming thoughts. As she ran, giggles followed suit.

"Daisy," I muttered, a small smile playing at my lips.

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this is actually shit LOL