TSZ Magazine: December 2016 (Issue #4)

Sexual Abuse

What if abuse happened when I was a child or teen?

If you were sexually abused when you were a child or a teenager, you may have different feelings and reactions at different times in your life. RAINN partners with , an organization dedicated to helping men who survived unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood. Their website has answers to many of the questions or concerns you might have as an adult survivor.

What if the assault or abuse occurred when I was an adult?

Some men who have survived sexual assault as adults feel shame or self-doubt, believing that they should have been "strong enough" to fight off the perpetrator. Many men who experienced an erection or ejaculation during the assault may be confused and wonder what this means. These normal physiological responses do not in any way imply that you wanted, invited, or enjoyed the assault. If you were sexually assaulted, it was not your fault.

Unhelpful myths about the sexual assault and rape of men

There are a number of commonly accepted myths that can make it difficult for a man to publicly name an experience of sexual assault or rape. These myths minimise the seriousness of the crime and help persons perpetrating sexual violence to evade responsibility for their actions. These myths can affect the way a man feels about himself following an assault, preventing him from seeking assistance and can influence the way that he is treated should he come forward and ask for help.

The following myths about men and sexual assault do not appear from nowhere; they are kept alive and circulate within our society by the way we talk, write, act, and organise service responses. Actively challenging myths or other unhelpful beliefs is something we all can do to assist men, women and children who are subjected to sexual violence. Amongst the unhelpful myths and beliefs to watch out for are:

Myth: Men can't be raped or sexually assaulted.
Reality: Men can be and are sexually assaulted. Any man can be sexually assaulted regardless of size, strength, appearance, age, occupation, race or sexual identity. The idea that men can't be raped or sexually assaulted is linked to unrealistic beliefs that a 'man' should be able to defend himself against attack. It also has a history in the fact that according to the Queensland Criminal Code, up until 1997, the offence of rape could only be committed against a woman.

Myth: Only gay men are sexually assaulted.
Reality: Any man can be raped, whether he identifies as straight, gay, bi, transgender or fluid sexuality. Rape is an act of force or coercion where someone's personal choice is ignored. Just as being robbed does not tell you anything about someone's sexuality, neither does rape. However, research does suggest that gay identifying men are more likely to be the subject of sexual violence.

Myth: It is gay men who sexually assault other men.
Reality: Most men who sexually assault other men identify themselves as straight. The myth is a legacy of societal homophobia and a habit developed over the past century of seeing participation in a sexual act as a sign of a person's sexual identity. The focus on questions of sexuality stops attention being placed on the manipulation, violence, coercion or control used to perpetrate sexual abuse.

Myth: Men cannot be sexually assaulted by women.
Reality: Although the majority of sexual assaults of men are committed by men, women do sexually assault men. Sexual assault is not always enacted through overwhelming physical force: it can involve emotional manipulation whereby a man can be coerced into sexual act out of fear of potential repercussions for his relationships, work, etc. The number of men identifying sexual abuse by a woman as a boy or young man has increased over the past few years. Ideas that men should always want sex with women and that as a young man you should feel lucky if you have sex with an older woman also make it difficult for a man to publicly name sexual assault by a woman.