Hazy
A gentle breeze blew through the room, curling around the ornate posts of the king size bed, rustling the open curtains lightly as it went. Though the window was open and the wind was present, there was no room for a chill in the space around the bed. There was only warmth and softness in the room. The hushed beauty struck a melody of feelings that whispered promises in the dark.
It was a warm summer evening and that breeze was a refreshing breath. All was peaceful and calm, especially in that room. A young couple lay twisted among the soft pale sheets, wrapped up in the tenderness of each other.
The scene was sweet, the embodiment of soft, tender love. The young woman’s hair was dark and it spilled over her pillow, some of it lying on the man’s pillow. The man’s face was peaceful in sleep, but the young woman’s eyes were open.
She sat up, the sheet covering her suitably. Her hair was tousled, the curls adding a disheveled softness to her face.
“What are you doing Nicole?” She whispered to herself, the sound to quiet for the man to hear.
She shook her head slightly and covered her face with one hand as if contemplating something deeply. The man shifted slightly and she pulled her hand away from her face to study him.
This wasn’t a one night stand; the two of them had been dating for close to two years and she knew without a doubt that she loved him. But there was a shred of unease left inside her regarding his feelings.
Yes, he had told her many times how much she meant to him, but he had never said “love”, and neither had she. She knew how stubborn he was, how uneasy he was about giving his heart away but she ached to hear him say what she knew to be true. And she wanted to be able to say those words to him as well, but she was so afraid that he would get scared and never say it back.
She bit her lip as she stared at him. There were so many things she wanted to know, so many things she needed him to say. She ached to know, she ached so badly that it was almost more than she could bear.
Nicole reached out a tentative hand to caress his cheek but couldn’t bring herself to touch him. Instead, she pulled her hand back and turned her face to the window.
The moon cast a silver glow over her face, bathing it in gentle light. She watched the stars, trying to imagine her future. All she saw was him, his face, his soft brown eyes. Then she tried to imagine what her life would be life without him. The image blurred and faded and she was alone in a vast space that filled with things that meant nothing to her. Everything was hazy.
She blinked and the image disappeared. Without him, there was no future. That sounded cheesy but it was true. She loved him and she couldn’t see herself going on without him in her life. She just wished he knew it too.
When you love someone, you just know. When you meet the person you want to spend the rest of your life loving, you just know. Did he know?
She shook her head slightly. She knew he loved her, she really did. But there is something about those words that makes you ache to hear them. There is something in the phrase “I love you” that means more people than they can ever know. When someone says those words to another and they really mean it, it touches that other person deeply, whether they know it or not. Love is a feeling between two people, but hearing those words spoken with the true weight of emotion behind them is needed as well.
And she needed it, more than anything; she needed to hear those words. She needed to know that he would be there if she fell, that he would pick her up and put her back together again, no matter how many times she fell. She needed to know that if she lost herself, he would know exactly where to find her. She needed to know that if she lost her way, he would be there to remind her. Nicole didn’t know why she needed to know these things, just that she did.
She lifted her hand to his face, gently tracing a lock of hair back off his face with her fingertips. The love she felt for him was indescribable. Perhaps it was insane, but up until this moment, she had thought a love like this would be impossible.
He let loose a soft sigh at her touch and she smiled slightly. She didn’t know if he was ready to listen, but she knew she was ready to tell him what was in her heart.
So with her heart full of an aching love, she leaned down, lips just barely brushing his ear as she whispered in the soft voice, “I love you.”
He didn’t stir at all, gave no indication that he had heard her. She sighed and shrugged inwardly. It didn’t matter, he would be ready soon enough and as long as she would hear those words, she could wait.
Nicole lay down beside her lover, wrapping herself up in his warmth. She drifted at the edges of sleep for a while, still thinking of him.
When he thought she was asleep, Matthew raised his head and shoulders slightly to look at her face. She was so beautiful, so perfect. He had heard those words and, surprisingly, hadn’t felt panic. All he had felt when she said them was that he wanted to say them back. He wanted to tell her and for some reason, it didn’t scare him.
He wanted to spend forever with her and he was finally able to admit that to himself. He loved her.
Matthew smiled slightly to himself and leaned over her just as she had done to him. With his lips light against her ear and his voice soft as the breeze, he whispered back to his love, “I love you too.” And he meant it.
With that, he lay back down beside her, wrapping his strong arms around her and drifting back into sleep. But Nicole had heard everything and as she snuggled against his chest, she couldn’t keep a single tear from sliding down her cheek.
She loved him more than anything in the world and she couldn’t imagine going a single day without loving him. Because without him, her life was hazy.
