The Ballerina's Skater Boy

Chapter 28- Come on beaut, lets go check out the stage

It's the day of my recital and school seems as though it will never end. Doe and I aren't talking much. I don't really have much to say and Doe doesn't push me. I imagine she understands how I feel, being that she's wrapped into the situation. I look down at my tray and move my fork around in my mash potatoes. My nerves are through the roof and my appetite has disappeared.

"What time does it start?" she asks, startling me. She laughs at me and I roll my eyes.

"It's at seven. Try to be there by six forty-five. My parents have the tickets."

"How many tickets did you buy?"

"Well, I had five. My parents bought theirs and I bought Sadie, you and Beck one."

"I'm sorry Lan," she answers.

"I don't even want my parents there Doe. Of course I want you there and I really wish I could look out into the crowd and see Sadie and Beck sitting there. It's really been messed up lately, but you've been there through all of it. You're really my savior Doe," I say, tears welling in my eyes. I feel like a child as I say this. I don't want to cry, I don't want to be weak or corny or sound stupid in any way. I really just want Doe to know how much I appreciate her.

"I love you Lana. This is all so crazy, I would never think any of this would happen. I really wish Sadie wasn't involved in all of this. I'm not gonna lie Lana, when I first found out about you and Beck sneaking around I was confused. I didn't understand why someone like you could be with someone like him, but after homecoming when Sadie and I showed up at your house, your mom told us how you felt and what you were going through and I decided to give him a chance. It literally hurt me that I had even thought the way I did when I found out. I shouldn't have and I'm sorry for it. Don't be too hard on your parents Lan. The boy you like is in jail and the girl who had proof that he is innocent is missing. Just relax, think about yourself tonight. You have been working hard for this. You've been spending so much time there for last month and a half. You're gonna do great and I'm going to be there watching you. You're my best friend, I would do anything for you," she says. As soon as she finishes talking, the bell rings. We throw out our food and she puts her arm around me as we walk to our last classes together.

***
At five o'clock I finish getting ready and head downstairs to grab a water bottle before I leave and head to the recital venue.

"Hey, how are you feelin?" My dad asks. I try my hardest to be civil.

"Feeling good, see you there," I say. Then, I grab the water bottle and head out, hearing my dad sigh as I close the door. I shake off the bad thoughts as I get in the car and pull out of the drive way.

When I get to the building, I sign in and head to the back to see my friend Rose.

"Hey beautiful," she says.

"Hey, what's up?"

"I'm excited and nervous!" She practically yells.

"Me too," I say.

"Are you alright Lana?" She asks.

"Yeah, I'm great," I say, trying to sound as convincing as possible.

"Look Lan, I know shits pretty messed up for you right now, but let's be real. You are the best in the class. When you dance, everyone watches. I know you wish that Beck was here and even your other friend too, but you're gonna kill it Lan, you always do. And I overheard Bella telling Mr. Hall that you came up with one of the best dances she's ever seen, stop stressing. Focus on you!" I take in her words and take a deep breath.

"Thank you. And you're going to kill it too. You know you're just as good as me. Is your boyfriend coming?"I ask, trying hard to change the subject.

"Yes, this is the first recital he's coming too. Im nervous!"

"Don't be! He's going to love it! You're freaking amazing," I say. She smiles at me and kisses me on the cheek.

"Come on beaut, let's go check out the stage."

***
At six forty-five my heart stars beating faster than it ever has before. I'm a nervous wreck as I tie my pointe shoes and sit down in the line up. We start to hear the people filing in from back stage and my stomach churns.

"Lana, relax!" Rose says from beside me.

"Yeah, you're going to do great!" A girl named Randi says from the other side of me.

"Thanks guys. I'm just so nervous," I say. I get like this before every recital. I've never been easily able to perform in front of people. Bella definitely played a huge part in me being able to do it as much as I can today.

"Lana, can I talk to you for a second?" Bella asks. I get up from my seat and follow her. When I look at the clock it's six fifty-four and I suddenly want to cry. When we get outside of the doors to back stage she stops, turns around and puts her hands on my shoulders.

"Listen darling, you are going to do great. I know you're nervous. You've always been like this and I know today is different from all of the others. I love you Lan. Everyone here loves you. Your parents, your classmates, me, your friend Doe. We all wanna see you do good. Everyone of my dancers is nervous tonight. I can see it in them all, even if they say they aren't. You've worked hard for this and you've been through a lot. Just breathe and think about yourself," she says. I let her, Doe, and Rose's enchant my mind and body. I take a deep breathe, nod my head and thank her. She turns to head into the audience and I turn to head backstage.

At seven fifteen, my name is called. There's a blurb of information given about me, stating my name, age, and how long I've been dancing. They also state what song I'm going to be performing to. I try my hardest to stay calm as I walk into the spotlight. I pose my body the way I want to begin and wait for the music to start.

As soon as it starts, I flow with the music. Every feeling that had built up inside of me is transformed into movement. Movement that makes me almost feel free, movement that somehow makes me feel a little better. I dance with everything that I have in me, letting everything go.

By the end of my dance, tears are running down my face. I move into my last pose as the song ends and the crowd erupts. They stand up, clap, whistle, and yell. And I somehow feel on top of the world, but empty at the same time. I'm proud of myself. I'm proud of coming up with this routine in just a few days. I'm proud of the fact that I was able to translate my feelings into my dance. I'm proud that people are on their feet, screaming and clapping. I'm proud when I see the look on my parents' faces and even Doe's. But something  is missing.

I give the crowd a huge smile and bow. Then, I turn and begin walking off stage, my head held high, tears still running down my face. When I get off of the side, I hurry out of the doors and into the hallway, catching my breath. Feeling wonderful and horrible at the same time. I lean my forehead against the wall, feeling it's cool tiles against my sweating skin, and take a huge breath, feeling the air run through me.

"That was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," a deep voice says from behind me. I freeze.

Authors Note:

Hey everyone! I want to thank you all for the support. I appreciate the votes and comments people have made. I encourage you to continue!

I hope you all are enjoying it.

Who's behind her???

Thanks again,
-Tiffany,(: