Error Code: Dan Howell (Phan)

Thirteen

Phil looks down at Dan again, trying to see if his eyes will open. He doesn't know when he'll wake up, last time it seems like forever, mostly because they had just kissed. "Do you- do you like my son?" Dan mum asks, her voice is soft.

"Well, I um, yes. Yes I do." Phil wraps his fingers around Dan's hand and squeezes lightly.

She hums in reply and her gaze travels to her son. "I think he likes you to."

"You can tell?" Phil asks.

"No, but I can see it in his eyes." Phil looks over at Dan to see that his eyes are open. He's looking at Phil -when is he not- with his eyes foggy from his rebooting. "I'm glad he's meet a nice bloke like you. He needed a good influence in his life." She stands up from her chair, gracefully as always. It's like she's the definition of elegance, but also mixed with the essence of evil. "I can tell you two have a lot to talk about, I'll leave you two be."

She leaves the room and it stays silent, Phil rubs his thumb against the back of Dan's hand, it had returned to its normal warmth, yet it still felt cold.

"I'm sorry." Dan mumbles, he sounds hurt and tired.

"No I'm sorry. You rolled into the camp bed last night and woke me up. I tried to push you away but you wrapped your arms and legs around me and wouldn't let me go. I should've tried harder." Phil says, turning towards Dan.

Dan looks down at his duvet. "I slept in your arms."

"Uh, yeah?"

"And I missed it?" Dan mumbles sadly.

"I wouldn't think of it like that..." Phil's voices gets softer.

"But I am thinking about it like that." Dan turns around onto his back and sits up. "I missed the first time I slept in someone's arms." Dan frowns.

"I'm not sure why that's a bad thing." Phil changes positions so he's sitting on his folded legs. He pats his legs and Dan obliges. His knees move to either side of Phil and sits in his lap. "You can always look out for the second time. Besides you woke up in my arms so you didn't really missed it." Phil's leans foreword like a vampire would if they were to bite someone's neck, but instead he plants a soft, reassuring kiss to Dan's jaw.

Dan frowns and rest his forehead against Phil's shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sweetheart." Phil's arms move around Dan's torso and pulls him closer. "It's not your fault."

"I know, I'm sorry." Dan whispers again as he rests his forehead against Phil's shoulder.

"Love stop saying that." Phil whispers.

"But what else can I say?" Dan shakes his head.

"You can kiss me." Phil suggests.

"Not now Phil, I'm not done talking." Dan lets out a frustrated sigh. "I don't think this will work, you can't be in the relationship you want with me."

"Dan, just being in a relationship with you is what I want." Phil explains.

"I know, I know." Dan sighs. "I'm sorry."

"Stop that Dan."

"I can't help it!" Dan snaps, not picking his head up from Phil's shoulder.

"Dan, don't snap." Phil's voice is the complete opposite tone of Dan's.

"I can't! And I won't stop saying I'm sorry because it's all I can say!" He sniffs. "I'm a literal freak of nature, a cheat to death with consequences! One of those consequences being I can't give you what you want!"

"Dan we talked about this yesterday, I am totally fine with being limited. I like you, and if this is the only problem I am fine getting around it. I agree, your heart is a downside, you have no idea how much self control I'm using to not touch your chest right now. But I can manage. All relationships have downsides, this is normal." Phil explains, his fingers tracing small circles on Dan's back.

Dan just shakes his head. "I'm sorry."

"Stop saying that!" Phil lifts Dan's face up by lightly holding his chin.

"Sorry." Phil presses his lips to Dan's then pulls apart.

"Every time you say that I'm going to kiss you."

"Then I'll say it more often." Dan challenges. He smiles when he sees the frustration in Phil's eyes.

"What are you sorry about Dan?" Phil's words are soft, it makes Dan's spine tingle.

"I can't be the person you want me to be."

"Dan-" Phil's quieted by Dan's finger to Phil's lips.

"I know I know, being myself is the person you want. But what if it's not who I am?" Phil's eyebrows knit together. "I can't experiment what kind of lover I am because of my heart."

"Dan, I don't think you need to experiment. You're a dead on cuddler." Phil smiles and kisses Dan's cheek.

Dan huffs. "But I want to be more than a cuddler. I want to wake up in your arms without rebooting. I want to be able to not be scared of making a first move. I want to kiss you until our mouths are sore."

"We only just started dating Dan."

"Yeah but I didn't just start liking you." Dan whispers. "It's just all so frustrating!" He grips at his hair and arches his back to let out a frustrated groan into the air. To Phil, he looked abnormally hot doing this, with his ribs and hip bones peeking out if his skin as he bent backwards.

"L-lets not think about it to much. H-honestly I'm fine with cuddling." Phil stutters.

"I'm not." Dan mumbles.

Phil places his hands to Dan's waist and pulls him back up into a sitting position. "Well, try to be." Phil smiles and wraps his arms around Dan. Dan reluctantly wraps his arms around Phil's neck. "While we're on the conversation of our relationship, your mum knows I like you, and they you like me."

Dan sighs. "Yeah I heard, she didn't seem upset did she?"

"No, she didn't seem to mind." Phil tells him.

"That's good. I knew she'd like you." Dan rests his forehead against Phil's. "Can I kiss you?"

"You never need to ask baby." Phil smiles. Dan smiles to, but only for a short amount of time. Then he places his lips against Phil's.

The kiss is soft, sweet, and gentle. Dan appreciates it, but he also wants more. He wants to kiss him like he means it, like he wants this relationship. Because he does, and Phil deserves to know that. But not by words, he deserves to know by kissing, and the soft touches. The little gestures that Dan couldn't provide.