saturn⚣ joshler 彡 completed

土星と死

as the world came to end, you'd imagine everyone that surrounded you to be in total hysteria. mothers and fathers yelling at each other in hopes of figuring out a plan to live, all the while knowing they were going to die. 

dogs barking at their owners as they sped off. children screaming and crying as they watched the terror swallow them whole. 

you'd imagine fear because these people know that their life is going to end. it doesn't matter how. the dead could be rising, a nuclear war-head, war in general, an asteroid, an illness wiping out the whole human race, the sun exploding, Yellowstone erupting; it- it doesn't matter because these people are going to die. they're going to cease to exist, and no matter how hard they fight, the inevitable will happen. 

today is the day that all life on earth will be no more. there will be no future, no history teachers explaining how horrible this specific day was, there will be nothing, the earth will be a small spec of dust floating around the universe, and we humans, will be a simple nothing. 

if there is anything out there in the universe with us, we'll just be a short lived memory. there will be no mourning for the extinction of man-kind and every other life form on this planet that we call our home, that we took for granted. our technology, our memories, our ups and downs, all history will cease to exist. 

many people will pray as they realize the end of our time is here, they will pray to god that may not even exist, in hopes of going somewhere something so beautiful, somewhere where we can continue on because the thought of death is so terrifying that we have to hope and pray we end up in heaven or anywhere else than eternal darkness, or hell even. because trying to wrap your mind around eternal nothingness, is impossible.

many people will drink, which is understandable because here i am, sitting here with a bottle of straight whiskey, numbing me to be okay with the fact that i will die today. to be okay with the fact that my husband, is going to die right beside with me. 

the pink haired boy sat right next to me, his head against my shoulder as we watched the planet of Saturn rise up incredibly close to our planet. our home. 

everything got loud as people saw the glow of the planet illuminate ours. people cried and got on their hands and knees, repeating prayers over and over again as the large planet that is impacting our earth, out-glowed the stars, the stars seeming as if they died, as if they were the only ones here to mourn our death.

my husband gripped my hand, mumbling out a prayer before he let tears fall. as i on the other hand, did nothing. having faith use to be so important to me, seemed like the very purpose for my being but as i watch the impossible happen right before my eyes, faith seems so worthless right now, all it is a comforting mechanism as we die. nothing will save us in this very moment, we are stuck. 

and so i continued to watch my neighbors, my friends, try to escape their impeccable doom, trying to escape from terror that was being lied upon them. 

they didn't seem to realize that this situation is inescapable. but i guess it made them feel better in a way. i guess they wanted their last thought to be 'well at least i tried.'

this was absolutely saddening to watch, but i couldn't help but feel excited for the end of my very existence. 

maybe it's because of the fact i use to scribble about how much i wanted to die and make a song out of it. the fact that i told people i cared for to stay alive when i didn't want to myself, i wonder how they're doing. 

anyways, i got what i wished for, death. 

"the ocean is probably flooding the land." my husband, josh, spoke out, his voice sounding calmer than a few nights before. 

and he's right. the ocean is more than likely flooding the land, ice is melting and buildings are collapsing from the impact of the planet ramming into us. 

gravity actually began to change, which is expected i suppose. the planet Saturn is currently destroying our planet, the universe sucking us in whole.

the world was no longer dimly lit, it had the colors of Saturn itself lighting up earth. 

let me tell you, the colors purple, blue or gray never seemed so beautiful. the rings around the planet continued to spin around the large being, ripping apart our world without any signs of stopping. 

screaming only got louder as people looked towards one another, utter fear in their eyes. 

it made me sick to my stomach, it made me sad even. knowing the way these people are looking at each other made your heart sink. they looked at them as if they were important, but with so much sorrow in their eyes.

strangers treated one another like family, people looking at each other the way we should have when everything began to fall to shit. we should've have treated one another like family, to never discriminate because of a sexual orientation, skin color, religion, gender or anything else. we messed up and it sucks to know that humanity resurfaces as the world dies. 

people started to be ripped from the earth, their homes.

usually during this time, the streets would be filled with drunks, dogs would growl at passing by cars, or people who just simply walked down the sidewalk. streets will be filled with laughter and music, but now all you can hear are screams and the harsh howl of the wind. the only things that filled the streets were debris and crying families, or random people who yelled about how they knew that this was going to happen. 

as if that mattered. 

i sigh, holding josh closer as i watched my death play before my eyes. i shiver, the cold air hitting me like a ton of bricks. overused saying, i know, but it fit well. 

the glow of the planet in front of me burned my eyes, but i couldn't look away, neither could my husband.

stars faded into nothing as more and more humans died, and i silently thanked them for dying along with us. i know those stars didn't have a choice either, but i couldn't help but feel a great amount of respect for those twinkly little things that always seemed to make me feel less alone.

i swallow hard, bringing josh's hand to my lips, then turning my head to kiss him for the very last time. i want that to be the last thing we did together. 

i didn't want to watch our death, our peers death, i wanted to hear the slow breaths of my husband and i. i want to stare into those light brown eyes that make me feel at home, instead of looking at the thing that was going to kill me. i want to feel my husband's soft, warm lips against mine for my last sense of touch, instead of the cold air that felt like knives stabbing me repeatedly.

as i breathe in my last breath, breathing in the air that kept my brain functioning, that fed my veins and lungs, that kept me alive, the thing i took for granted; i open my eyes, placing my hands upon josh's cheeks and kissing him once more, each of us whispering out an i love you afterwards. 

and in that moment i hope there is some sort of afterlife, so i can see my josh again. 

then, we both feel nothing. our heart stops beating, our brains no longer functioning, my veins no longer coursing with blood, my body no longer, we are nothing but specs in the universe, our world now following along with it's sons, it's daughters; the earth, our once home, turning into nothing. 

like we never even existed in the first place.