The shadow

The Knife

My name is Charley, I am 16 years old, and I killed my mom. That is the only thing the voices have told me so far. Right now I am in a closet, I want to leave but the voices told me I can't leave my body whatever that means. I can't move but I swing around sometimes and gets to see something different. I can feel a slight tugging on my neck and my arm but no pain.

I have been waiting for a long time now. I hear footsteps come into the room. Then I see a light. The footsteps stop. Then I hear a woman burst into tears I have no idea who she is or why she is crying. Then light flood into the closet.

There is a woman no older than her late 30s. She has bright red hair. Her eyes are swelling in tears. She falls down to her knee's. She sits there for a few minutes just crying. Then she looks up and our eyes lock. She slowly stands up. She looks into my eyes. The tears are still streaming down her face but one is not making any sound. She reaches up and puts her hand to my cheek. "What did I do?" She says. I try to tell her that she didn't do anything but I can't talk. Then I start to panic. 'What is going on. Why can't I talk? I have to help her' then I start to hear something I don't know what it is. I try to listen harder. Then I know what it is. It is the cutting of a rope. I try to look around but I can't move my gaze. I'm just staring at the floor.

Then I hear a snap. I fall to the floor. The tugging around my neck stops and I'm just laying on the floor. Then I get turned around. I see the woman's face. "I'm so sorry." As she says this she puts her hand over my face and closes my eyes. Now all I can see is black. Then I see a light. The light gets brighter and brighter. Then everything is white.

I can see a girl. I look around but she is the only thing I can see. Then she stands, She turns around sees me and screams. I look down, I see there is a red liquid seeping out from my hoody I'm wearing. I pull it up around my elbow. Then I see it, there are hundreds of them. Each and every one is seeping blood. I have no idea what to do. I try to stop it but it won't stop. The  blood is seeping down my arm and onto the floor. Drip, drip, drip is the only sound I can hear. I look up at the girl, she is just standing there. Then she starts to walk towards me. Then I hear the voices again, they are telling me to kill her. I feel as though I have done this before. Then as if they knew what I was thinking they gave me a flashback. 

I am in the kitchen, I must be no older than 10, I see the knives. I grab one, I look at it not knowing what I am doing. I turn around and see my dog. Then I hear the voices, I walk over to her I drop the knife right next to her and give her a hug, I want to make her as comfortable as possible, I grab the knife in my hand. The voices take over my thoughts, They are telling me to kill her. They tell me to make it slow so she knows what's going on. I tell them I can't, That makes them mad they take over my body. 

They tell me that they are helping me but I still don't understand how that it is helping me but I just let them do it. At first, it is like in a puppet but then it is like a show. It is interesting but not at the same time.  They are getting me ready to kill something by myself. I know this because they are giving me instructions on what they are doing step by step. 

"First you make the victim as comfortable as possible. You can do this by just making sure that they can't move but their not being hurt either. It is like a comfortable hug, Just a little more forced. Once they can't move you talk to them restore to them that you are here to be their friend. If they have the false sense of protection then it is easier.

Once they are comfortable you then can start the fun stuff, The best way is to use a knife and cut right along the neck, once you cut the neck they will start to bleed out. If they bleed a lot then you cut the right place, but if there is only a little then you will have to cut again." 

After the voices, stop telling me how to kill something. Then they give me an example. Going step by step. First, they make the dog happy and have a false sense of protection. But then they start to cut. I watch the blood drip down my hands. As my hands are slicing the dog you can hear the dog whimper in pain. Then the sounds stop and it is silent. The voices let me take over again.

I look at my hands covered in blood and start to laugh. I don't know why but I find having this blood on my hands satisfying. I then stand up and walk down the hall. I stop in front of my parent's door. I knock 3 times, I slowly open the door and walk over to their bed, I stare at them sleeping. I hold my mom by the neck making sure I'm holding on as tightly as I can. She wakes up and tries to scream but I wont let her. She is trying to get me to let go but I'm not going to budge. I then sit on her stomach so that she can't move her torso. I grab the knife tighter in my hand. I hold it to her throat and let go of her neck with my other hand. 

I press harder with the knife but not enough to kill her just enough for her to know my intentions. I can feel her tense in pain everytime I press a little harder. She tries to struggle but I don't let her go, I press harder for the last time as I slide the knife across her throat. I can feel her skin tearing apart.

The voices tell me to stop, I have not even gotten halfway across her neck, I take the knife away from her neck and look around the room my father is next to me still asleep. I have an idea, I take my mom and drag her by her hair into the chair in the room. I smudge her blood all over her face and body, she is still somewhat alive, I put the knife in my father's hand. I then got more blood and put it all over my father to make him think he did it in his sleep. My dad needs to suffer for what he did to me and my mom, I know that she did not deserve to die but it was the only way to get revenge on my dad, I make sure to take a shower and clean myself up. I did my laundry and buried the dog. After that, I poured out a bottle of vodka and set it next to the bed. My dad was a little drunk and probably doesn't remember going to bed so it will be easy to blame it on him. I then go back into my room and fall asleep.

I am back to the white place. I see the girl she is closer now, she no older than her late 30s. She has bright red hair. Her eyes are swelling in tears. Wait I know her, It's the woman that found me in the closet. I have to ask her who she is, I try to ask and then I remember that I can't talk. I just stand there looking at her, then she runs at me. I think that she was going to hit me or something but she just hugged me. I didn't want her to let go, her arm's felt familiar around me like I have felt this same hug a thousand times before. She loosens her grip, then in an instant looks me straight in the eyes and yells "RUN". I don't know what to do so I just follow her running and running until I can't run any longer. I stop catching my breath. "What are you doing it's going to catch up with us then we are both going to die. I can't have you die again." I look behind us and see a man just standing there. He is wearing a black trench coat with khaki pants. His hands are in his pockets and he is staring directly at me. He lifts one of his hands, he is holding a knife out in front of him as if trying to give it to me. I stand up and feel a pull toward him. It feels as though I need to go toward him and take the knife. I start to walk toward him, Then I realise who it is, my dad is standing directly in front of me with a knife. I step closer and Start to laugh. It is the same knife that I killed my mom with.