A Look In The Mirror

Chapter Two Lingering Questions

By the time I’m finished my chicken is cold. I eat my salad and throw the chicken in the microwave. I’m lost in thought when my dad walks in. 

“Hey Munchkin, how’s your day been?” He says cheerfully. I consider telling him about Conner but I decide I’ll wait until after talking with him tomorrow before spilling the news. 

“It’s been long,” I say with a dramatic sigh hoping for some sympathy or a hug.

 “Why’s that?” He grabs a chair and sits down next to me. This is what I love about my dad. He works all day long and sometimes this is the only conversation we have for the whole day when he’s swamped with a big case but he always makes an effort.

 “Well…” I say unsure how to proceed. “I have a history report due that’s stressing me out. I decided to go for a run to the park and I kinda got lost in thought there. So that’s why I was late. I’m sure mom’s told you all about it.” I say semi-sarcastically.

 “Yes, your mother mentioned it, but it’s only because she was worried Gabby.” He says in his don’t talk about your mother that way voice.

 “I know,” I say. “But why? Did something happen that made you worry?” I ask. I’m hoping for something like ‘well your twin brother was stolen when you were babies’ in case that’s what happened to Conner.

 But I’m disappointed because he only says that it’s because him and mom love me and blah-de blah-de blah. We small talk a bit about my history report but then he retreats back into his office.  I decide to head to bed so I bring Maislee in and up to my room which is something I don’t usually do. I lay a blanket over the left side of my bed and I grab my bible and lay on the other half of the bed. I spend a lot of time in the word and prayer. I wonder if Conner’s a Christian.

 I wake up the next morning ready to bounce out of bed. And I do, which startles Maislee who’s spent the whole night in bed with me.  Today I get to see Conner again. I push aside my curtain and my spirits drop considerably. Grey clouds cover the sky and I know if it rains my mom won’t let me go running. Which means I won’t be able to meet Conner.

 I get dressed for school and beg God not to let it rain. I spend the whole day with the same state of mind. I’m miserable in school and hardly hear a word because my eyes are glued to the window fearing that any minute the heavens will pour down on us.

 When I get home the same fear plagues my mind as I pace back forth in my living room. I begin to drive my mom nuts since she’s trying to read there. I move to my room but I cannot sit still or make any progress on my history report.  So I head to my back yard and play catch with Maislee. 

 Then begins the constant checking of the clock. Time seems to creep along daring the rain to come before I can get out. I feel like a caged animal pacing and going nuts.  Finally when I can’t take it any more I bring Maislee in with me and ask my mom if I can go out. She looks at me like I’m crazy, which I mean at the moment I am, but when she realizes I’m serious she frowns at me.

“Gabby are you feeling okay? I mean honey it’s going to rain any minute now. Besides it’s freezing outside.”

 “I’ll wear extra warm clothes. Please. I really need to get out.” 

 “I can see that.” She says and I stand waiting before her feeling like a peasant standing before a queen wondering if her head is going to be cut off. Maislee sits by me and I decide to drag her into this. 

 “Please mom. Maislee really wants to go on a walk.” I kneel down by Maislee and make my best puppy-dog face.

 My mom breaks and laughs. “Okay fine. If Maislee really wants to go that badly.” She relents.