If I Were A Boy

When you lose the one you wanted

Cause he’s taken you for granted

And everything you had got destroyed

But how come Peter can't see the pain I'm going through?

If I were a boy

I would turn off my phone

I've called his phone fifty times. Fifty. Yet he never answered every single one. I was worried. What was doing right now? Did he enjoy the party, did he had too much to drink? Or did the worse happened? But never once, did he even left me a reply with an explanation. Nothing.

Tell everyone it’s broken

So they’d think that I was sleepin’ alone

When he got home after a few days, I was out all night staying up, trying to ease the worry I was feeling. When I saw him, he wiped off the satisfied look on his face and hugged me. I let myself to be touched, even if the obvious betrayal stings. How could he do this? Does he not care about me at all?

"Sorry, my phone broke so I couldn't answer anything. And besides, I was really busy. I'm really sorry." I only nodded silently in response. I never felt so low.

So he really is unfaithful.

I’d put myself first

And make the rules as I go

Cause I know that she’d be faithful

Waitin’ for me to come home (to come home)

He knew I wouldn't suspect him, because never did I ever accuse him of anything. I was submissive, I let him do whatever he wants to do, even if it hurts too much, even if it's betrayal, because I kept onto the belief that he'll crawl back to me one day.

How wrong I was.

If I were a boy

I think I could understand

How it feels to love a girl

I swear I’d be a better man.

If I could repeat everything, if I could be a guy just for a taste, I would. I want to feel what it feels like when you love someone and you use someone else. Would I feel guilty or remorse for her who was faithful and patiently waiting?

I’d listen to her

Cause I know how it hurts

When you lose the one you wanted (wanted)

Cause he’s taken you for granted (granted)

And everything you had got destroyed

"Please, I'm sorry! You have to listen to me! Let me explain I beg of you!" Peter pleaded desperately as I hurriedly took my bags to my car. That was it, no more. I caught him yesterday making out with Kim, who even had the guts to do it in the office when I walked in with his lunch on my hand. He pushed her away, horrified.

For me? It felt like my heart shattered.

"There's nothing to talk about," I said icily, dumping my bags at the car. He pleaded and begged as he took my arms, but I just shrugged him off. He's no longer my concern anymore. He can go to hell for all I care.

It’s a little too late for you to come back

Say its just a mistake

"It's a mistake baby, I am so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking when I have done that,"he begged again, getting on his knees. His eyes filled with tears. But I knew better.

Think I’d forgive you like that

If you thought I would wait for you

I gave him a harsh laugh. "Really? What about last week? Or what about the last few months? You're telling you weren't thinking straight all this time, Peter? You could've turned away now when I gave you all this time, but you didn't,"I said acidly. His mouth opened in shock as realisation dawned on his face.

You thought wrong

"You..knew?" he whispered. That was all I needed. I got inside the car and slammed the door in his face. I don't need this. Not anymore.

But you’re just a boy

You don’t understand

Yeah you don’t understand

How it feels to love a girl someday

You wish you were a better man

You don’t listen to her

You don’t care how it hurts

Until you lose the one you wanted

Cause you’ve taken her for granted

And everything you have got destroyed

But you’re just a boy

You're just a boy, Peter. A boy who took my heart and smashed it into pieces. 

You've got everything you've wanted at first.

But now it's all gone.

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