Stormy's OC Ratings!

OC #10: Lynxwhisker (Warrior Cats)

Name- Lynxwhisker

Beautiful name :3

Age- 82 moons

Ooh, older kitty.

Gender- she-cat

Straight

Clan- MistClan

Hmm. This Clan name is overused. Try finding something that has to do with mist that cats know about, and put that as your Clan name! Like: DewClan or DrizzleClan :3 I've never seen that!

Rank- former medicine cat, now a loner

Ooh. I've never seen a FORMER Med-cat :3

Personality- Lynxwhisker is tender and thoughtful. She thinks before she speaks, and easily gets nervous and tends to stutter in front of others. Despite this, though, she can be snappy and sassy when she wants to be, and honestly a little blunt. She is loyal and passionate for what she believes in.

A few of these don't fit. Usually, cats that are sassy and snappy aren't stutter-y and nervous. How about this?: Sassy, passionate, and thoughtful. Those would work :D

Appearance- She is a very tiny gray she-cat that honestly is kinda pudgy. She has a few darker flecks here and there, and a stub for a tail. She has a darker stripe that runs straight down her back and ends at her nose, dividing her eyes. One of her eyes is amber, and the other is bright green. Her ears are tufted.

I smell a Yellowfang :3 But AHHH THE HETEROCHROMIA ARMY *sounds alarm* In cats, these are actually really overused in OCs and rare in real life. Consider sticking to one color. Amber eyes would be really pretty on her.

Backstory- Lynxwhisker was born to Poppystar, the current leader of Mistclan. She had three other siblings named Swampkit, Graykit, and Turtlekit, but Turtlekit died from sickness at a young age. Lynxkit was too young to really be affected by her death but increasingly grew closer to her sister Graykit. Lynxkit and her siblings finally were apprenticed, and Lynxpaw became a medicine cat apprentice. Graypaw stopped talking to Lynxpaw, so the young apprentice forged a friendship with a kit named Whirlkit. The two noticed that the real medicine cat, Vineflower, was coming to camp less and less. One day they decided to follow her, and it turned out Vineflower actually was merely a spy for another Clan. Poppystar banished Vineflower, and Lynxpaw was the full medicine cat at only 7 moons. She later got her full name Lynxwhisker and took Whirlkit on as an apprentice, who later became Whirlpool. (This is much more complex, plus I might write a book about her, so I'll stop it here)

Oh dear. I know this is from a book, but SO MANY PLOT HOLES. For one thing, Vineflower would have probably heard the apprentices following them. Maybe add that for a plot twist c:< Secondly, usually a warrior with experience in herbs would take over for a bit, to teach Lynxpaw, and then when she's old enough, she would take over fully. 

Mate- None

Crush- Eaglewing

Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! A med with a crush!!!!

Overall Rating: 4.9/10

I'm sorry, but your backstory needs a bit more development. I know it's because of the fact that it's from a book.