Brokenness Aside

Long Day

All day we've been trying to find Kristen. Once again, he has called everyone he knows who might have seen her. When we finally give up, we get a phone call. He picks it up and I hear him speaking in very hushed tones. When he comes back in the room his face is as pale as a ghost!
"Say something, honey. Who was it?"
"It was her mother. Kristen had an overdose at home, drugs and alcohol mixed, and LeeLee found her. When she was released from the hospital she had to enter a facility involuntarily. Her mother wants to bring the children to me."
"Of course! Oh, poor Lee! Is she okay?"
"She's pretty shaken up and barely speaks. I don't what what Kit was thinking! Maybe she wasn't thinking?"
"Let's not focus on that right now. Everyone in this situation had been through a lot. Let's go get the children and bring them back here. I will take care of them with you"
"I love you. You always say the right things and calm me down when I'm going crazy"
"I don't think anyone has ever said I calm them down before. Usually I'm the one who winds people up" she says with a laugh.
"Well, you can do that too!" He kisses my temple affectionately. "I don't know what I'd do without you, baby"

---

Lindsey arranges for the children (18, 16 and 12 respectively) to stay with us at my house. School has broken for Summer so there will be lots of things to do. I feel like I haven't seen his children in so long and I'm excited to see them! Marcy has dropped them off with their bags and Lindsey greets them, taking their things upstairs
"Aunt Stevie!" Will cries, as does Stella and I hug them both.
"You've grown so much!! You're both taller than your auntie now!"
"They've always been taller than you, even as little kids!" Lindsey, taunts and I shoot him a glare.
"Enough!" I say, playfully. "Did Lee go up to her room already?"
"Yeah..." Lindsey looks upset and I nod. "Alright, so is anyone hungry? We can make some lunch then we can head to the beach. Does that sound fun?" Stella is all too excited to go to the beach. No matter how old the children are, they love spending time with their Auntie. I always had this special connection with children.
While Will and Stella were eating with Lindsey, I went to find LeeLee. I knocked on her door and there was no answer. I knocked once more before warning the girl i was going to come in, anyway. When I opened the door, Lee was sitting on the bed staring at the wall. At first when I spoke, Lee didn't even blink then when she realized fully who it was she turned.
"Lee, your brother and sister are eating before going to the beach..." I looked at her, almost analyzing her reaction and where to go from there. "Are you hungry, honey?" Lee shakes her head. "I'm here for you. I love you." I had turned to leave her alone until Lee spoke.
"I love you too"
"Can I give you a hug or is that not cool now, you being a big bad 16 year old?"
"Id like a hug" Lee and I embraced for some time when I felt tears.
"Oh honey! Everything is going to be fine"
"But you didn't see her. I thought she was dead! Sometimes I wish she had been...I never want to see her again!"
"Don't say that, sweet girl. I understand you must have been so scared but she's getting help now to be a better mommy to all three of you."
"Will's hardly there. He's always hanging out with his girlfriend and looking for apartments and Stella... is Stella." She pulls a face and that makes me giggle. Sometimes it's hard for me to think about them as almost adults.
"So tell me about Will's girlfriend..." I put my arm around her and lead her out of the room to meet the others. They're laughing and talking, and Lindsey looks as if he might cry. Throughout the day, Lee still had times where she wouldn't speak or leave the room in a hurry to find solitude but it did seem to be better than the reports from Kristen's mother. Lindsey was such a proud father and it showed. It was beautiful.

---

"The kids are in bed" Lindsey announced as he got into bed with me. I was reading by the light of my little blue lamp with my glasses on. He pulled my glasses off my nose and took my book. "Still reading this stuff, huh?" She looked over the cover. He barely reads more than street signs so I'm not offended and I tell him so. "What is this? A book of spells and incantations?" He teases.
"I'm not a witch!" I protest.
"If it looks like a witch, it talks like a witch...it might be a witch"
"You know nothing"
He laughs at me and kisses my neck when we are laying in our usual position on the bed. "Thank you for bringing LeeLee out today. You're so good with all of them...You would have been a great mother"
"Thank you" I say simply, emotionally wrecked by what he has said. I know it's meant to be a compliment but with how much I've been thinking about the babies I'd lost, especially Missy, I couldn't handle his words. I began to cry silently, hoping he wouldn't notice. When the last light goes out I feel successful then I gasp and it's all over.
"Please don't cry" he tells me. "I'm not trying to make you sad."
"You didn't" My voice trembles, I can't control it. "Let's just go to sleep, it's been a long day"
"Stevie..."
I don't answer, I'm pretending to be asleep. He strokes my hair and his hand finds my stomach. He's whispering things to me and I can barely understand them; it's almost as if it's a prayer. He asks for understanding and forgiveness. He feels at fault for all that has happened. I drift off into an uncomfortable sleep.

A/N: Lots of emotion from everyone involved. Will things remain going good? Thank you for reading my first fiction and continuing your support and feedback. I appreciate it! Please don't hesitate to give me suggestions.