The Celibate Wedding Planner [BWWM]

Prologue

   I was different, always have been, always will be. Even as a kid, I've always looked at things differently, always looking for the deeper meaning of anything and everything. I was inquisitive, always asking questions, always wanted to know the advantages and disadvantages, the outcomes, the consequences.

   Not only was I different because of my perspective on life but I was one of the few teenagers in the world to stay out of trouble. I've always been a down to earth, optimistic girl. Always did good in school, friends with everyone, even all my teachers. I never gave my parents a hard time either. Though I hate the word, I was kind of perfect.

   At least that's what my sister says.

   Anyways, growing up, there was always one major thing I hope to accomplish, and that was finding love. I don't know if it was the Fairytales my Grandmother use to read to me or what, but I've always dreamed of the day I would get married and have my own family.

   That's one of the reasons I became a wedding planner. I just loved giving women the fairytale wedding I hope to have some day. It was also a plus being able to see my clients happy and satisfied about their special day.

   You see I wanted love but not just any kind of love. I wanted my love to be real, not those toxic relationships shown on TV, that society masks as real love. I have standards, and I think everyone else should have standards too.

   My sister says my standards are too high but I don't listen to her.

   I believe when it comes to love, people shouldn't settle. Besides my standards aren't impossible. I've never based my standards on looks, I've always been open minded. A book should never be judged by its over.

   My standards are based on the person on the inside. I want a nice guy, someone kind hearted, also very smart. There's nothing more attractive than a guy who can make you think, and teach you a few things. I want a guy who is financial stable. He doesn't have to be oh-my-god rich but he at least needs to be able to take care of us. I want someone who has a future, plans on doing something with their life. Someone fun, humorous, a communicator.

   Is that too much to ask in a man?

   I know those type of guys just don't walk down the street on display everyday but I'm not going to settle just because guys like that aren't easy to find, and I'm not going to hunt for him either.

   My parents have always taught me to never pursue or chase a man. There suppose to do that to you. No woman should ever chase a man, we’re the prize.
   Until the man of my dreams comes and sweeps me off of my feet, I'm focusing in my career, as well as continue to save my self for him.

   Yes, save myself.

   Believe it or not, I decided to save myself until marriage. I bought myself a purity ring when I was sixteen years old, deciding I was going to give myself to the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with.

   I watched my older sister date and have sex with guy after guy, thinking she was in love.

   Watching her made me wonder, how many guys am I going to sleep with before I find the one?

   How many guys am I going to give my time and attention to?

   We tend to take temporary love instead of waiting for eternal, unconditional love.

   And I know what you're thinking, if I don't test the water, how will I know who is the one?

   Its not like I just avoid every guy who approaches me. I'll talk to a guy, but I always look out for the red flags. You know the bad signs, people choose to ignore. Half time time, even when there's more good signs than bad it still doesn't mean the person is the one. People often think because the person makes you feel good, its meant to be.

   You have to look beyond that, ask yourself:

   How does this person add to my life?

   It has to be more than feelings because feelings can change and they do.

   His feelings changed.

   Not about me, but the woman he was going to marry. 

   That's right, I did find the one, but he happened to be engaged to someone else. I'm a smart girl, I knew things were going to go bad, people I saw the red flags. I was going to stay away. At the time I barely knew the guy, he just gave me that, feeling.

   But like all Romance stories, its never that easy.

   I never imagined my love story to be anything like this. I've always been able to say no, if it's not meant go be, it's not meant to me but this was different, he was different.

   To sum things up, lets just say I never knew what the phrase 'love makes you do crazy things' until I met him.