Raising Teens

Chapter 2

I keep scrolling through Facebook.

A minute or so later, my bedroom door opens.

The kids don't knock. They never have.

Caden comes strolling in wearing just his boxer briefs.

"Dad texted me and said he wants to talk to you." He says.

Now he's going through the kids.

I sigh loudly.

"Caden, you don't have to get involved."

"You and Dad never fight. Now you're fighting because of me."

"No, we're not fighting because of you, we're fighting because-"

"Rose and I started fighting." He says. "You and Dad are my favorite couple. Please just talk to him."

I sigh.

Rose walks in then, followed by Brooke and Ruby and Rowan.

They climb in my bed, and Caden climbs on too, and they all stare at me expectantly.

I sigh slowly. I exit Facebook and call Noah back, putting it on speaker.

It rings once, and then stops.

"Brecklyn." Noah says.

"I'm only calling you because you've dragged our children in it."

"Well..." he hesitates. "It's not like I can come and demand you talk to me in person. Trust me, if I could see you right now, I would. I'm sorry for everything."

I really don't feel like bitching.

I sigh.

"It's okay."

Silence.

"That's it? You're not going to bitch at me?"

"No." I say. "Us fighting would just make you being away harder."

We're all quiet.

I hear a shuffling sound, like he's in bed.

"I miss you." He mumbles.

"I miss you too." I whisper.

I want to cry from how much I miss him. I miss grabbing his arms, and I miss touching his abs. I miss his smile, and how his eyes shine when they look at me. I miss how he walks around in sweatpants in the mornings, and how he slips his arms around my whenever he gets the chance. My heart feels heavy, and I feel a tear roll down my cheek.

I never cry in front of the kids.

Last time I did, Ruby wasn't even born yet.

They probably don't remember.

I sniffle, wiping my eyes.

The shuffling starts again.

"Are you crying?" Noah whispers.

"Um...no." I lie.

"Yes you are." He says.

He would be hugging me now, if he was here.

"Brecklyn..." he trails off.

He doesn't know what to say.

"Do you want me to come home? Even just for an hour?"

Yes. So badly. I put my hand in a fist over my heart.

"You'll be exhausted if you do that." I whisper. "We're okay here. Really. I'll survive."

"I just want a hug. I'll come, hug you, and leave."

I laugh.

"You just focus on you, okay?"

"Okay." He says.

<><>

He spoke to the kids for a while, and then we all just sort of laid there, listening to the silence, the sound of Noah moving around in bed.

Noah and I have a California King, and all of us fell asleep. Noah was still on the phone.

It's Sunday afternoon now, around three.

We're all in the backyard.

Rose is tanning, Ruby and Brooke are in the pool, Rowan is playing on the phone, and Caden is throwing a baseball up and catching it.

I'm sitting on the lawn chair. My phone vibrates.

Noah: wanna exchange nudes? ;)

Me: omg

Me: you need to not

Noah: come on, it's been MONTHS

Me: I know. We'll send the kids off somewhere when you get home

Noah: fineeee

Noah: what're you doing

Me: sitting out back. Why?

Noah: just wondering