Holding on to you

All for her, only for her

"Marco, calm down, yelling will not get you anywhere." My mum said to him, then she turned to me, "Lilly, this is not a decision that we took lightly, we understand that you love him, but you need to see that he is not good for you."

Her voice held a pleading tone which was hard for me to ignore, so I decided to hear them out, it was the lease I could do.

My mother's shoulders relaxed and she took her seat along with my father. When they were both seating, I resumed my seat as well.

"Well, I'm listening."

I knew I sounded cold, but at the moment I could care less about how my tone was towards them. I loved them, but I'd die without Killian and they needed to understand that.

"Honey, I know you might think that this relationship you have with him is normal, but you have to know that it is not. I know you don't want to hear this, but we all know that he forced it on you."

My mum had tears in her eyes as she spoke, which caused me to feel like the worse daughter ever.

"Lilly, we know about the marks, we know that he likes to get violent with you. Baby, can't you see that he is no good for you, he doesn't deserve you."

She got up from her seat to kneel in front of me, taking my hands into her, she continued talking.

"You, my beautiful baby girl, deserve someone who will love and cherish you every day of his life, someone who will respect you enough to never lay a hand on you no matter how upset you make him. You deserve a man who's willing to lay his life and the world at your feet, and that man is not Killian."

Her words were so beautiful that I started crying, but my mother thought that I was crying because I agreed with her. I did agree with all of it except the last part, what she didn't know was that everything that she just described, Killian portrayed them.

"Mum, Killian doesn't abuse me, he can be violent at times but he'd never hurt me in the way that you think."

My mother looked sceptical, but I wasn't going to tell her that I liked it when my husband gets violent with me, that's it's part of the reason I loved him so much, that I crave that dark side of him.

"Killian might never say it, but I know that he loves me. He's been through a lot so it's hard for him to be vulnerable, but I know what's in his heart even if he refuses to acknowledge it. He loves me, mum, he'd die for me, he'd never let anything bad happen to me."

My mother looked like she was caving, but my father was determined to believe the worst about Killian.

"Don't fool yourself, Lilly, all that bastard care about is himself, and he doesn't love you, he sees you as his property, something to own."

I couldn't really tell him he was wrong about the last part because I knew that Killian saw me that way. However, I was upset with my father for pointing it out.

"Is that such a bad thing, I know how he feels about me, so does it matter if he feels the need to claim ownership of me?! I love him!"

I got up, I was ready to leave, to be done with the conversation and my visit with my parents. However, when I made to leave the room my father grabbed my arms, forcing me to face him.

"Don't let him fool you, Lilly, I've raised you better than this."

I yanked my hand away from him, "You raised me to love unconditionally and without prejudice. You raised me to believe in myself and to trust my own instincts, and that's what I'm doing, dad. I'm trusting what I believe, and I believe that he loves me."