hey guys, so i've been thinking a lot and about a lot of things. and i might delete the book.
well no okay; i'm not going to delete it.
just unpublish. why?
well i wrote this book when i was 12 and still believed that i was going to become big on youtube and famous and be happy living with my aunt and cousin and uncle, and that my brother was going to actually care about me in the least bit. i thought that my father wouldn't be haunting me, (not literally , like he just never stops bothering me) and i wouldn't have todeal with shit. i thought caleb and i were gonna date and i was gonna i gues glo up and be pretty and skinny.
well guess what, i'm 14 years old, i've grown up, but i'm more depressed then i was back then. i don't think of depression as a cute tumblr thing that boys fall in love with anymore, and that it can't just be fixed easily. and i know its a real disorder, like i know caleb is gone and very sadly can not be brought back, never mind can i date him. i dont live with my aunt and them, my brother cares more about his girlfriend and her family than my mom and i, my father is bugging me about talking to him, and i'm incredibly depressed with no way to get any therapy because no one believes me and i want to fucking die. i'm older now.
i'm 2 years older now, and i'm thinking about my future and this book. this whole book is a piece of shit and the plot and writing is and the telling of it is. its based on false facts of the character because i was the character. WAS.
anyway i wanna be an actress when i'm older, or a pediatric nurse. and this has my name in it and people can possibly either go through my phone and find it or track it somehow. idk.
i'm just getting rid of this book except this part so that i can keep the amount of reads because it kinda makes me feel accomplised.
i think i wrote this entire "chapter" because i'm thinking a lot today and absolutely no one cares enough to listen to my white privileged feminist complain. sorry if it bothers u.
"i'll see you guys -" in a while.
goodbye, goodnight.
