i think you think too much of me (Matty Healy/George Daniel)

4: irrelevant but i met david cameron yesterday & idk why but it got me so shook

As the world grew colder, the sky began to clear. Frost against windowpanes meant little when deep inside, blood no longer ran cold, and hearts finally calmed themselves to a consistent, rhythmic beating.

Matty found himself in quite the position that next Friday. He was perhaps even worlds away from the person he'd thought he'd end up to be. From where he'd been before, there could have only been two vastly different outcomes from Gemma's party, and that come the next weekend, he'd either find George to have faded out into the background and entirely out of his life, or he'd find himself waking up in George's bed. In the way they hadn't been that Saturday morning. In the way that had forever been on Matty's mind.

The thing was, however, that neither of those things did actually happen. But Matty wasn't even disappointed. Here he was - better off, but far from all smiles and perfection, because despite that, this was real life. Although Matty did reckon he mostly lived up inside his own head, he certainly couldn't settle down and make any kind of permanent residence up there.

For a start, he'd barely spoken to Gemma over the past few days. Nothing had really happened between them. Nothing new anyway. It was just the guilt. The fact that he still hadn't said a word. And really, Matty had been so genuinely convinced that he would, but instead he'd found himself so caught up in George and every word he'd said to him - to the kind of trust that had almost immediately set in between them.

Matty even reckoned that despite the few days in which they'd actually spoken, George already knew and understood him in ways that the rest of the world could barely even begin to comprehend.

Or maybe Matty was just stupid. Stupidly in love. Heart held out in his hands, head over heels, in a lovestruck heap on the floor. In love. Desperate, but forever smiling.

George just made him happy. There was no questioning that. Somehow, that was enough. It was a whole new kind of happy really - the kind of happy that wasn't just a smile upon his lips, but the kind of happiness that radiated a warm glow of light and hope throughout his whole body. It was the kind of happiness that really felt like something special. A once in a lifetime kind of thing, and Matty found himself so very terrified of losing it. Of losing George, of losing whatever was held behind late night phone calls and a constant chain of text messages. As it had to be something, after all.

Still, Matty wasn't quite so stupid as not to realise that he was neglecting just about everything and everyone else in his life for George. He was just stupid enough not to care however, because suddenly George was everything, and really, at the back of his mind, Matty was so very aware as to just what that meant, and as to just what consequences could come of it. But still, he did nothing to change it.

Instead, he found himself even more than prepared to let everything else crumble to pieces around him as long as he could spend the night with George. As long as they could stay up until the early morning: smoking and chatting shit about everything and everyone. Matty imagined that he might never run out of things to say to George. Stories he wanted to tell him. But still, despite that, Matty knew that he would never run out of things he could never say to George.

As despite how perfect Matty reckoned George had to be, George still knew nothing about his gender, and although Matty was convinced that he wouldn't, he could hate him for it. And on top of that, there was the matter of Matty's feelings, and the fact that at the back of his mind, Matty did know that they wouldn't be reciprocated - at least not in the way he needed them to be, but still, it seemed that he was stupid enough as to not let that affect him.

Matty finished his shift at five, finding he had no longer than a minute to himself and his own terrible thoughts before he caught sight of George - waiting for him outside the coffee shop. They had made plans to meet up that Friday night since the very start of the week, but in no world had Matty ever imagined that George would have gone to the effort to do so much as to pick him up from work.