Destiel One-Shots

Like a River Flows Surely to the Sea...

AN: So, I am pleased to announce that after 3 long years of trekking endlessly through it, cause I did not wish to get to the inevitable, I have finally finished reading Twist & Shout by the incredible writing duo that is Gabriel and Stand By Me on Ao3. But, after I finished it, I realized that there was a part that I had thought existed, and it did of course, but differently? I dunno, I remember once watching a fanvid for the fanfic, and there being a really profound scene at the end. Which is what I will try to conjure up, cause I just feel like it is greatly needed. That being said, if you have not yet read the phenomenal story that is T&S, then please refrain from reading any further, as the following will most definitely contain spoilers! And, for those of you who have read it, I hope I don't open up too many of your tender, emotional wounds with this. If so, I am deeply sorry...
Song Mentioned: Can't Help Falling in Love by: Elvis Presley
Derived from: Twist & Shout (Supernatural, Destiel AU) by: Gabriel and Stand By Me on Archive of Our Own

"Cause I can't help falling in love-", the rich, melodic drone of Elvis Presley's voice was abruptly silenced, as Dean Winchester brought his hand down and pulled the needle up off the old record turntable. For a long moment, a dense quiet filled the room until it was suddenly broken by another voice, this one closer, but almost seeming more foreign. Dean let out a deep sigh. His brother Sam was hollering up the stairs, saying that they would be leaving in a half hour to go to Cas' burial site. Intermingled with the voice of his younger brother, was that of his wife Jessica's, and even still, the sound of a small child babbling could also be detected. Abigail, Dean thought. The small smile despite it all, turning up the corners of his mouth. He then straightened from his place on the spare cot in Sam and Jessica's guest room, before he tried to shakily amble up to go and get ready for the funeral service. But for some unknown reason, even as he threw on his suit jacket and tightened the fabric of his tie so that it was basically restricting his breathing, he could only think of one thing and one thing, only. The only thing that mattered. Cas. Dean had to bite his bottom lip between his teeth, as the image of the love of his life flashed once again before his closed eyelids. Behind them, he could still see Cas as clear as if the man were sitting right before him in the bed, his skin sallow, blue eyes dull, and with that hideous-looking mask with the tiny green tube directly over his mouth.
It wasn't the first time that Dean had beheld this vision, this image of Castiel and it most likely would not be the last. Even after the service today, he knew that if anything, his visions would only increase tenfold. Which was why he didn't try to dismiss Cas' skeletal figure as it lay on the hospital bed at San Francisco General, slowly wasting away to nothing, as Dean was forced to watch it all happen, knowing he could do nothing to save him. He could only once again watch and wait for the inevitable to occur, for Cas' rattling breaths to cease and the slow steady beep of the nearby heart monitor to rapidly increase, as he heard himself as he sang to Cas. The same exact song that Dean had gotten up the courage to finally play again on the turntable since that fateful day, only to feel his whole world begin to crash down around him once more. That had been why he'd found himself angrily ripping the needle up off the Blue Hawaii record. The one that Cas used to listen to almost religiously.
Shaking his head to clear any residual thoughts of Cas, Dean exited the guest room and began his descendant down the long, winding staircase, towards his brother, Jess, and the couple's baby daughter Abigail, who wouldn't stop squirming about in Jess' arms. They like Dean, were dressed for what could only be deemed as a formal affair, but the kind where one wore an excess amount of black. The kind that Dean never dreamed he'd have to attend in his life. Especially, for someone so close to him...
"Dean, you ready to go?", Sam asked, interrupting his older brother's thoughts, as he gestured towards the front door, keys in hand.
Nodding reluctantly, Dean dragged himself over to the door and then into Sam's car, which had belonged to their father. A 1967 black Chevrolet Impala with dark leather upholstery that had been worn down over the years in most places. The most prominent place being the driver's seat, where Sam climbed in now and started up the engine. Dean could only stare out the back window, at the blur of green grass and trees, as Abigail slept soundly in her car seat beside him. He knew that there wouldn't be many people there. At the funeral. Mainly because Cas hadn't known that many people. Probably because they all had silently and subtly disowned him a few years back. Well, all except three members of the Novak family. One of them Dean had actually met and the other two, he had not.
Balthazar wouldn't be attending, claimed he was much too busy and it was all much too complicated for him to see Cas like that. Dead. Dean had thought to inform him that there would be no physical body present, as one of Cas' final request before he had died, had been to be cremated rather than buried. But, he doubted that would make any difference to Balthazar.
As they drove onward, Dean's subconscious began to get the better of him and Cas' image reared up crystal clear, just as Sam turned off onto a side road towards their destination.
This time, Dean didn't try to rid himself of the vision, only merely sat back against the worn out upholstery, closing his eyes as he let himself become lost in his memories of Cas. He didn't even reach up to brush the tears out of his eyes when he felt himself recall that day only a matter of days before Cas finally passed away, when he had brought in the old projector and rolls of film from his bike and had it all set up in Cas' room on a table by the far side wall, so that Dean could grant him one of his last wishes. To go to the beach. Cas had shown the most recognition during the slide-show of photographs and videos, laughing softly and gesturing to the ones with him in his windbreaker and rubber boots. "That's me.", he had said, smiling at the younger version of himself on the sepia-coloured backdrop, as he ran up and down the shoreline, gathering seashells. "That's you.", he'd stated delightedly, as an image of Dean had appeared on the projector, his hands tucked into the pockets of his red and black mackinaw, as he gazed lovingly at Cas, as the other man snapped the button on his Polaroid camera. "That's us.", Cas said once more, as he had watched the images of him and Dean at the beach, sand between their toes, as they ran about like children would, carefree and bound to nothing.
"Dean? Wake up, we're here.", Jessica replied, as she continued to gently shake him, rousing him slowly from his stupor.
With a slight jolt, Dean sat up in the back of the car and shook his head as he tried to adjust his eyes to the bright midday sun that was practically penetrating through the glass in the window. He yawned tiredly and stretched his arms out in front of him, as he finally looked over and blinked confusedly at her.
"How long was I out?", he asked, yawning again as he attempted to rise up from the comfortable warmth of the car's backseat.
Jessica only gave him a sad look from the front seat where she had turned herself slightly around to face him, before she climbed out of the car, opening the door to Dean's opposite, and picking up her daughter who was still drowsy with sleep, as she clung to her mother's ebony, chiffon dress.
"There now, Abi. You need to wake up now, baby girl.", Jess told her daughter, as the little girl nuzzled her small, fuzz-covered head into her mother's ruffled shoulder, wrinkling the costly fabric. Jessica in response, attempted to pry Abigail up off of her shoulder with a gentle yet profound nudge, but the little girl remained attached to her mother, the only movement the steady rising and falling of her small chest. Jess than shot Dean an apologetic smile before she walked over to her husband and tried to see if he could get their daughter to wake up. Alas, he could not so Jessica as a last resort, agreed to stay with the sleeping infant in the car while Sam and Dean went on ahead to the service without her.
"Are you sure?", Sam had asked, not wanting to leave his wife out of anything to do with the goings on.
Jessica nodded and smiled slightly, as she placed a black, silk-gloved hand on his shoulder.
"You two go on ahead. I'll be alright."
So, Sam finally relented and together he and Dean began their descendent towards the burial site. Cas' final resting place.
As they approached, a dark, blond-haired figure glanced up and seemed to smile as they saw Dean Winchester coming slowly down the rolling dunes of white sand, with another man closely by his side, the strong winds swirling not just the powdery substance about, but also the taller individual's long, brownish-blonde hair. When Dean and the unknown man finally stopped near the others gathered at the bottom, closest to the shore line, the two who did not know each other by name, introduced themselves. Gabriel, who had been the one watching them as they descended down towards the spot where his brother was to be laid to rest, despite the occasion, smiled when the man who he now knew to be Sam Winchester (Dean's younger brother), shook his hand.
"I'm so sorry to hear about your brother, Cas.", Sam said, still grasping Gabriel's hand firmly in his own. "This must be difficult for you."
Whether it truly was or not, Gabriel nodded slightly and then told Sam that it was okay and that Cas had been sick for a long time, so it wasn't like it had been all that sudden.
"Still, I can't imagine losing Dean like that. So suddenly...so young... It's a shame."
Gabriel didn't say another word as he let go of Sam's hand.
But, Dean was pretty sure that he muttered something along the lines of: "Yes indeed, a real shame" or something that was remotely close to that.
Soon after that, they got to make the acquaintances of Cas' other siblings who had bothered to actually show up: Rachel and Michael. Although, Michael Novak barely said five words to Dean before he simply walked away angrily, Rachel was a lot kinder.
"Well, this was a real shock.", she said, glancing over at Dean before dabbing at her eyes with a tissue. "I mean, it's funny, you know? Only a matter of months ago, longer maybe than that, I don't really know...but he was at my wedding. I remember talking to him. He-he was griping about having to wear that suit of his...", her voice began to taper off again as she blew her nose, loudly. "It-it's just...he was so young. Too young. To be sick, I mean. Too young..."
Dean nodded, as he listened to Rachel continue to discuss Cas and how it was such a tragedy and he had been too young, and she was terribly sorry that Dean had to deal with something like this, something so saddening...
When she could not take any more, Rachel excused herself politely from him and dashed back over to her two brothers who gripped her tightly in a fierce hug. Then, the three remaining Novak children (at least those who had bothered to attend), disbanded and walked back over to Sam and Dean, eyes red and swollen from crying. Even, Michael (who Dean assumed was the eldest) couldn't bother to care about keeping up his tough exterior, as he sobbed quietly into Gabriel's shoulder. Which was peculiar because of the alarming difference in their height. Truthfully, it looked more like a giant crying on a gnome's shoulder, than anything else.
At last, it was time for the service to commence and the officiate, who Dean had only really noticed now, began to address all of those gathered, as he talked about how sad it was that Cas had to die so young.
"Castiel Novak will be sadly missed by his siblings: Michael, Rachel and Gabriel Novak. He will also be missed by his dear friends: Dean and Samuel Winchester and Samuel's wife, Jessica. As well as, by his close friend: Tessa of San Francisco General Hospital. It has been asked that all flower arrangements and condolences be sent to the address belonging to Rachel Novak and following the service and funeral here today, a small luncheon will be held to honour the memory of Castiel."
Dean could scarcely hear the officiate anymore as he began to drift into another vision of Cas. This time, it was the one before he had taken his last, struggling breath as Dean held him tightly in his strong arms... "I love you. I love you. I love-", Dean whispered as he recalled the moment when Cas' frail body went completely limp and his skin became ice cold. When the heart monitor had made that terrifying, rapid beeping sound and then dissolved into an insistent drone, as Dean had remained holding onto Cas' dead corpse, as all around him, his life quickly fell apart...
"Dean? Dean! Snap out of it! It's over!", Sam exclaimed as he repeatedly slapped his older brother in the face, trying to revive him.
"Huh? What'd I miss?", Dean asked him dazedly, as Sam gave a concerned frown, the lines in his forehead becoming slightly visible.
"It's over.", he repeated and with those words, Dean realized what he meant. It was too late.
Still, he tried to give himself the benefit of the doubt.
"Sammy?"
Sam looked Dean head on, tears brimming at the corner's of his soft, brown eyes.
"Dean, it's over."
A pause.
"He's gone."
"I know that-"
Sam forced himself to choke back a sob that was trying desperately to escape his throat.
"He's gone Dean, and he's never coming back..."
And, that's when Dean Winchester's world finally fell away. The edges began to blur, until the outlines of people and places, disappeared. Cas' face was starting to disappear. Coming away from his mind, like the sea would from the shore line, as it is pulled outward, into the vast unknown.
"No, Cas...Cas! Don't leave me!", Dean screamed out, not even caring about who saw or heard his inevitable, emotional breakdown. "I-I love you! I love you! Please don't leave me!"
But it was no use, Dean saw Cas' shape as it hovered by the waves of the ocean now, in a flowing hospital gown that seemed to catch on the wind as he stepped closer and closer towards the expanse of endless water. Water so crystalline blue that Dean could just make out the image of Cas' outline in it, through the rising maritime fog.
"Cas...no!", he screamed again, as Cas began to tether ever closer to the whipping waves that would rise and fall back into the water. Then, Cas suddenly turned to face Dean, now a hazy mirage in the back of Dean's mind, and he smiled at him in a way that caused the rough waters all around him to finally settle.
"Cas, are-are you God?", Dean asked in disbelief.
The dark-haired man smiled and shook his head, blue eyes bright.
"That's a nice compliment but no."
Dean smiled back, before nodding.
Then, Cas turned back towards the sea.
"Dean, I must go now. There is work to be done."
But, Dean just shook his head, ignoring the rest of what Cas had just said to him.
"No! You can't! Don't leave me, Cas. Don't-", but Cas had turned and brought his finger up to rest on Dean's lips.
"I must. Someday perhaps you will finally understand why."
Dean stopped, eyes shooting up to Cas' deep blue ones.
"Cas, wha-what do you mean?! Cas!"
But, Cas just sighed sadly and gave Dean one last small smile as he reached out and placed one foot in the water.
"See you then.", he whispered to Dean, before he then began to slowly descend out into the vast, open ocean, becoming only a mere speck on the horizon before finally disappearing entirely...
"Dean? Dean! Are you okay?!", Dean came to only to see Sam and Jessica standing over his collapsed form in the white sand, worriedly. Upon closer inspection, Dean saw that his niece Abigail had also finally woken up. Which explained Jess' current presence.
"I-I'm fine. Just passed out for a minute. Is everyone gone?"
Sam sighed, but he nodded, letting his brother know that yes, all of Cas' siblings had departed after the luncheon finished hours ago.
"Well, I guess it's time, then.", Dean stated with finality and Sam gave a slight nod, as he helped his brother to his feet.
"You gonna be okay?", he asked and Dean nodded.
"Much as I wish that I didn't, I have to do this, Sammy. It's the last thing I can do for him."
Sam Winchester reluctantly nodded and smiled slightly as he looked off at the calm, still waters of the ocean. "That's true, he did always love the beach."
Dean smiled, biting his lip to kept the onslaught of tears at bay. "Don't I know it."
"Well anyway, when you're ready to leave, let me know, okay? Jess and I will be just up there in the car, waiting for you when you're done."
"Alright, and Sammy?", Dean asked, just as his younger brother began his descent with Jessica back up the sand dunes.
"Yes?", Sam asked, turning quickly to face Dean.
His older brother, bit the inside of his cheek and looked up at him, tears now spilling out of his eyes. "Thank you."
Sam only smiled sadly before he turned back around and continued his trek up the powdery, white dunes that almost resembled icing sugar. Jessica following close behind him with Abigail held tightly in her arms.
Then, when Dean was certain that they were inside Sam's car, he walked over to a flimsy, beach chair where Rachel had left Cas' remains in a fairly large, heavy-duty plastic bag, carefully picked it up and carried it towards the edge of the shore line, where the tide came in the then just as quickly, rushed back out. Just like the sand, Cas' ashes were a soft, powdery white as they fell through Dean's large, callused hands like water, dissolving into the expanse of sparkling blue. As he tossed handfuls of the ashes into the depths, he let himself for the first time, recall the many memories of Cas that he'd forever have, even after there was nothing left in the large bag. He saw visions of Cas and him the night they had met, together riding Dean's motorbike. He saw when he went off to the Vietnam War and when he came back. He saw Cas as he slowly and yet rapidly deteriorated, and when he had lived with Balthazar. Finally, most of all, he saw the day that Cas left him for good and cried sadly for what he had lost.
"But, I don't regret us.", he told the now harsh, whipping winds, as he tossed the final handful of Cas' ashes into the sea.
"I will never regret us.", he whispered.
And then, he turned to leave.