You can't Understand... it's Impposible

Chapter 1

*Alexandra's POV*

              I put the last box into the car and hop into the passenger seat, but not before taking one last look at my home. My hell. I shake my head and close the door. "Ready Alexandra?" My mom asks I nod, not going to try and correct her at the moment. I don't want to have an argument. I sigh and grab my sketch book out of my bag that's sitting up front with me. I grab my phone and play some music, putting my headphones in. I open my sketch book to the last thing I was working on. I smile at it and continue drawing. My mom looks over and scoffs. 

              "Why do you draw things like that? It's stupid and not you. Get it into your head your a girl not a guy." I glare at her. "You know what, you might have raised a little girl, but I grew up a little boy so if I were you I'd shut up and drive I don't want an argument, I just want to draw. And If you can't accept me for who I am don't bother trying to talk to me. I'm Alex not Alexandra. I'm a BOY mom. Did you get that? B-O-Y mom. Now let me draw what I want." I say refocusing on my drawing. I'm guessing you all know by now that it's of me, In guy form. With no tits, and a dick. My mom wont accept that I'm a guy on the inside, thank god i'm almost 18. Then I can move out, Start T and get surgery to make me who I am. 

           "You are not a BOY, you are a GIRL. And until you are 18 I will call you whatever the hell I want. " She stated. I didn't say anything back, pretending not to hear her.  I looked out the window for a while. After about an hour I saw something I jumped up and looked back. That was surely something like and animal. "What happened now?" My mom asked. "Nothing" I state and get back into a comfortable position. 

           I end up falling asleep and I wake up as we turn into the driveway of our new house. I get out and bring my bag inside. I walk out and help bring the boxes inside and then lock myself in my room. I lay my bed down and start setting up my room (Picture up top). When I finish i lay on my bed, Playing on my phone. The cable guys came yesterday so we have WiFi. 

          "Alexandra!! Come eat." My mom yells from downstairs. I sigh and roll my eyes but get up. I walk downstairs to see my mom ordered pizza. I grab a few slices and eat them not saying a word. When I'm finished I start going upstairs. "Alexandra.... You start school tomorrow so I'd take a shower and pick out some clothes." My mom states before leaving me.  continue upstairs and do as told. I Pick out my clothes and then go to the bathroom to shower. 

             I take my clothes off and look in the mirror. I break down right there and then. I stare at myself in the mirror, taring my body apart with my eyes. I look through my box of things for my bathroom and find my razor blade. I cut a few times before stopping and just silently crying. I'm already standing under the running shower. I back up so my back is against the wall and I slide down it. I cry for a while, looking at my body constantly reminding me I'm not a guy. I finally had enough of looking that I get out of the shower and dress. 

               I put on my clothes, hiding my binder that I bought in my bag along with the clothes I'm changing into tomorrow. I walk into my bathroom with scissors  in hand. I look at my hair and smirk. "Good bye long hair, hello short hair." I state at myself. I lock the door and take the scissors to my hair. I have to make this even. Luckily I've cut others hair before, This wont be to hard. I cut it all uneven, but grab my clippers and shave the sides of my head. By the end of it my hair looks pretty good. I did good. The top is all even and the sides are shaved even too. 

         I open the door to see my mom with a shocked face. "You can't take it back now. My hair is How I want it, Deal with it." I say and brush past her, Locking myself in my room for the rest of the night. I lay down and play on my phone again before feeling tired enough to sleep. My last thoughts where of what it would be like if I was a guy. I hate being trapped in my own skin. Soon enough though. Soon I wont be and I can finally be the one I want to be. 

Hey guys. So I'm sorry I haven't been posting much But uh.. I was Busy. I'm not sure if I'm going to continue the other stories, I just don't like them. I'll write one more chapter for Feelings are confusing, and I will probably delete the Broken Story. Well Here's this story that I have big plans for. I don't want anything to go to fast in this story like in the others, so If you think it's to fast let me know! K byeeeeee ~ Madi <3