Hi, I'm Memicus, the writer of this story. This is here to quickly explain who this Vinnie guy is and why any of this is happening. Vinnie is a character I had come up with a while ago for use in a strange game known as "Mafia". The premise behind the character was that he was already part of the Mafia, even if he was actually dealt as a non-mafia role. This was fun, but somewhere along the way, the character began to evolve into something more, something... amazing. His backstory and personality evolved the more I played using him, to the point where he had an orbital jaguar launcher. At this point, the character became somewhat of an in-joke between a good portion of my friends, and recently I decided he warrented his own story, full of pig border-crossing, frozen yogurt, and, yes, the titular Space Jaguar-pult.
