Someone Else's Fairytale

Thirty-One: Things Fall Apart

He tensed up at once. “What did she say?”

“That she heard me ask you if there's anything you'd change about our relationship. And that it made you think about a lot of things.”

“It did.”

“Do you have an answer for me yet? Because-”

“I'm still working on it.”

“Jas, be honest. Do you want me to spend the night? I won't be at all offended if you do. If you're getting frustrated with me, I want to know.”

“I'm not... just.. enough about that, okay?”

He'd never snapped at me before. I did my best to pretend like it didn't knock me off balance, though it did. “I love you,” I said, “and I want you to know that and I... I don't want to lose what we have, okay? So be honest with me.”

“Do you think sleeping together will prevent our relationship going in a direction you don't want?”

“Um... Well, yeah.”

"It wouldn't change anything, all right? Not with..."

"With what?"

"What else did Kyra tell you?”

“Nothing.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really.”

“You look like you're dreading something.”

“Should I be?”

He didn't answer that.

Well, now I felt dread. “Jason, I really love you. Seriously. If there's something wrong and you're considering anything drastic-”

“Chlo, I'm under a lot of stress at the moment and this conversation is pushing all my buttons. I know it's probably not intentional, but I don't know how to respond right now. Let's just... just watch television or something, okay?”

I felt like I was being strangled, my throat was so tight. “Okay,” I whispered.

Jason turned on the TV, but didn't watch it. He put his arm over his eyes and lay back instead. I stroked his chest and he patted my hand, absently.

But my fear grew, like a yawning chasm in my heart. Our conversations used to solve our issues.

***

Lori didn't answer her phone when I tried to call, and I tried six times. I had other friends, but no one who knew about Jason. I'd kept him secret. Well, except for one: Matthew. That was a crazy idea, and I was desperate.

“Howdy?” he answered.

I burst into tears.

“Something wrong, Chloe?”

“I really, really need a friend right now.”

“What happened?”

“I think the Talk broke us up.”

“Jason dumped you cuz you won't sleep with him?”

“Not yet, but soon, I guess. I shouldn't have called you.”

“Well... I dunno if I can help here. I'm just... you know. Just a religious hick. But did you hear about Lori? She's expecting?”

“Yeah, I already knew about that.”

“You're making the right decision. I know Lori's all happy and jolly, but sheesh.”

I ignored his judgment. “I thought we'd moved past the issue. We had the Talk months ago and he was fine with it, but then I asked him if he was really, truly, honestly happy with our relationship, and he won't answer me. He's gotten all quiet and-”