❣ His Glistening Gray Eyes ❣ //amoneki//

❣ Confused ❣

Chapter 6

...

For the first morning in years I don't complete my exercise regimen. The thought doesn't even cross my mind, because I am too busy…thinking, fretting, dying inside. Fuck.

Kaneki is lying on his bottom bunk, and when I finally climb onto my feet with shaky legs, I don't join him in his bed. I abandon him, I let him sleep by himself. I climb onto the top bunk and stare at the wall in front of me for what feels like an eternity. Maybe it's hours. Maybe it's days. I can feel time passing me by but the only place I'm trapped is in my mind.

When the bell rings and we go to lunch I don't sit beside him, and that moment shows me just how vile I really am. I'm awful, I'm a coward. The more I think about it the more scared I am about liking Kaneki. Do I like him? I can't even tell. Maybe I'm just a horny male that doesn't get much action so anything will do?

And Kaneki…Kaneki is a kid. I don't know how old he is, but if we were together I'd probably be a goddamn pedophile.

I almost choke on my food at that, and I quickly take my mind elsewhere. I notice I'm not sitting beside anyone I've become acquaintances with at Quinx Penitentiary, and my eyes widen when I see I'm sitting at the same table as Julian. Julian, the man that had groped Kaneki in the showers along with his stupid gang. His eyes are now staring at something over my left shoulder, and I follow his gaze to see he's looking at Kaneki.

What the fuck? How long has he been watching Kaneki? What the absolute hell?

I turn back to the table. "What are you looking at?" I'm suddenly so angry, so scared. I have to know what Julian is thinking.

Julian returns my gaze and cocks an eyebrow. It occurs to me I probably know him better than he knows me. "None of your damn business." His accent is obnoxious.

"Are you looking at that white-haired ghoul?"

"Don't fuckin' matter because it's none of your business." He blinks, seems to contemplate, then he leans forward. "Wait…" He pauses. "Aren't you roomies with that ghoul?"

Fuck. He really is interested in Kaneki. God-fucking-damn it.

That single question answered my question. I act aloof and shrug. "None of your damn business."

It's trouble for me because I see Julian's two friends are sitting at this table as well. I continue eating my food like the conversation is over and I have no more to say. From my periphery I can see Julian's grip on his fork is tight and his hand is shaking.

Suddenly he calms. "I want to make a trade."

I stop chewing. If Julian thinks I will do anything to get him closer to Kaneki…he's absolutely fucking crazy.

"What's the trade?"

He discreetly stands and shows me his pockets. Wads of money and drugs. This corrupt fuck. Probably got it from the guards.

"I'll give you all this if you switch cells with me."

His offer is doable. If requests are submitted from both parties to change cells, the higher-ups will almost always allow it. They deny the applications only if they suspect it would cause disruption to the penitentiary.

His offer is doable…but it ain't fuckin' happening.

I'm done eating, and I push my tray away from me. "I'm good where I am thanks."

"Do you enjoy rooming with him that much? Y'all fucking or somethin'?"

That hits home for me, and for a moment all I see is red. "No, in fact I really hate that ghoul." I stand. I'm done here. "I just happen to hate you more."