Niggas were dyin
my bitches were crying
and stocking's brats were breakin my shit
"AUNTY PANTY LOOK WHAT I FOUND!" Watermelondreaquisha screamed as she pulled out my big ol' bag of christmas weed.
"NIGGA YOU SIT THAT SHIT DOWN RIGHT FUCKIN NOW!" bitches be tryna smoke my muthafuckin weed. Trfilin ass five year old nigga ass bitch.
I snatched up my weed and threw that little nigga out a 7th story window.
Goin all over the top micheal jackson on her black ass.
nigga was gonna die eventually anyways.
"Panty have you seen Watermelondreaquisha anywhere?" this nigga was actin concerned but the bitch was secretly happy. lil nigga was happy as shit on the inside.
"Bitch I threw her little ass out the muthafuckin window. wanna watch breif and socks go at it on the lawn?" I pointed to our gay ass lil brother gettin ran through by his boyfriend, 3 gorrillas and a zebra all at once. One talented ass little nigga.
"I'll get the binoculars if you take care of these bitches" she pointed to Skittals and Orayo, her other two black ass daughters.
I picked up a nigga in each hand and threw those bitches out the window. bitch aint got shit on mah swagz.
I brought out the weed, she brought out the paper
And I called up my lil blunt maker
Chuck fell from the ceiling and this nigga screamed "WHY THE FUCK YOU BE SUMMONIN ME"
"BITCH MAKE ME A BLUNT"
"NO FUCKIN CUNT, I GOT MY BITCH UPSTAIRS."
"bitch dont fuckin rhyme with me, roll mah weed."
this nigga was a good nigga, "fine, for 50 swagz"
i gave him some swagz and he gave me some blunts, the rest of the night was increasingly fun.
"Ill be right back" stocking left the room. Typical of this nigga fuckin pregnant ass havin to pee every 5 muthafuckin seconds.
I picked up the binoculars to see my gay ass lil brother fuckin my drunk ass bitch on the lawn, and what did I see? STOCKING GETTIN FREAKY WITH BOXERS (our other brother)
This nigga, fuckin incestuous as shit I swear.
I spent my christmas eve alone with mah weed, filmin people fuckin on my lawn.
By a quarter to 12 I decided it was the end of the muthafuckin night fo sho, but I was so wrong.
Wrong enough to knock the black off yo nigga asses.
It was 1 in the morning when her gothic ass came back upstairs and stole my spot on the bed. This bitch; I swear. Makin me commit murder, throwin her kids off the roof an shit; fuckin my favorite little brother. When this nigga has a mutated baby it'll be her own damn fault; I warned her white ass.
Anyways, it was exactly like last christmas eve, fuckin gunshots everywhere, bitches killin themselves because dey weave wasn't christmas colored. Nobody looks attractive with red and green hair, I don't even know why bitches want that shit. They're crazy I swear.
Anyways, bitch took my spot and sat right on top on a lit blunt; it left a bad burn on her twat. Hoe deserved it; at least now the bitch can't make more brats that I'll have to take care of. It was Christmas eve and I was so depressed it wasn't even funny anymore. Stocking was bein a lil bitchnigga, Boxers and Socks were fuckin animals on the lawn (literally. Socks had the neighbor's horse 13 inches in his ass and Boxers was 6 inches inside the neighbor's dog). I don't know how we ended up so fucked up, we were all raised by a preist. A homosexual preist, but still. The motherfucker used to try to screw my friends whenever I brought them around; he's one nasty son of a bitch.
2 am, Stocking's sleeping in my spot, the bags under my eyes are big enough to count as luggage on a plane; I'm done with this shit. Stocking took my fuckin spot for the last goddamn time. I picked the bitch up and threw her out a window. Merry Christmas hoe.
Bitch aint got shit on mah swag.
YOU ARE READING
Now Sit Down All You Bitches And Hoes, I Got A Story To Tell..
HumorPanty and Stocking switch personalities in this tale of their adult lives. Every Christmas Eve they get together to get high off their asses. All stories are told from Panty's point of view.
