Destiny
Chapter 1
Destiny, a common disbelief. Something many people don't bring to thought. Something believed to and not to exist, but that's for you to decide. When things seem like they're just getting worse and not better, something hits you. Like cold water to the face in the morning. Like a fresh breath of winter air. Something good happens. All's i can tell you is don't give up because just when things get worse, they get better. I'm the one to say because it happened to me.
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All my life I knew I was different from everyone else. Ever since I could remember, everything inside of me just wanted to fit in. But nothing ever settled in because no one understood me. I tried to fit in, but with doing that I could never be myself.
Growing up I had a hard time not only making but keeping them. There was never anyone who could understand me. Understand how my mind worked. It's completely different, not exactly like anyone else's. Not anyone else's because think about it. If we all thought the same, where would we be? Everything and everyone would be the same and completely boring.
I think it's because I always think of the worst thing that could happen. There's too many "what if's" with me. Why not me? What's wrong with me? Why do people always choose someone else over me? Why am I always everyone's second choice? There's too much worrying that people will leave me behind when it's me who's pushing them away. It's me who over reacts and has anger management problems. It's me who's insecure. It's me who gets mad really easily and always does something I don't mean but by the time I realize what I did, how I over reacted, how I just wasn't thinking clearly,it's too late. I can't take it back. I loose confidence. I loose their trust. And worst of all, I loose them. But that's the problem. I can't explain to them why i did what i did because I don't know how to. And sometimes I don't even know why i did what i did.
I guess all i really want is to be loved. Is for someone to understand. Not understand me completely, I just want them to try. Accept me for who I am because I know deep down I know that i can not only love, but also be loved.
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"Don't forget we have off Monday and Tuesday for teachers convention next week, so ill see everyone Wednesday! Have a great weekend!"
I wasn't quite finished with my drawing. Just a couple more finishing touches and i'd be satisfied to leave it for the long weekend.
"Mrs. Anderson, would you mind if I just stayed an extra 5 minutes? I'll even lock up."
"Oh Caroline, yes sweetheart. Stay as long as you need. Your piece is really coming together, i'm so proud of you."
"Thank you Mrs. Anderson. I'll only be 5 minutes. Thank you so much."
"Anything for you sweetie. I'll see you Wednesday."
The door shut and at last I was alone. Everything was quiet just how i liked it. I got out my charcoal and just added darkness to some places to give it some depth. Five minutes later i packed up, grabbed my purse, put on my jacket and hat, locked up and left. I walked down the stairs and out the door then to where my car was parked. It was snowing and just so freezing out and I couldn't wait to get to my car so I looked down in my purse scrambling for my keys.
The next thing I know I'm on the ground. I didn't quite know what happened until I heard a voice say "I'm so sorry are you okay?" I came to my senses and realized I had walked right into someone. Stupid me right? Always causing a commotion.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
The guy started to lift me up by my arm but I felt dizzy and my knees were weak. I started to fall down but he kept me up.
"Whoa there. Take is easy. Do you need to sit down?"
"No, no i'm okay thank you."
"Are you sure? Can i get you anything?"
"No, It's okay really, i'll be fine." I put my hand up calmly.
"I'm so sorry. I was looking down at my phone and by the time I looked up it was too late."
"No, it's okay. I was looking for my keys, so I wasn't paying attention either. I'm sorry."
"So you're sure your okay. No scrapes or bruises?"
"I don't think so." I checked and felt around "Nope, I'm good, but Thank you for helping me up.
"Oh don't worry about it. I'm Josh by the way." He reached to shake my hand. "And you are?"
I shook his hand. "Nice to meet you, Josh. I'm Caroline."
"Caroline. Nice to meet you."
"Well I better get going. I promised my friend I'd meet her at exactly twelve and she'll be furious if I'm not there."
"Well It was a pleasure meeting you Caroline. I'll see you around maybe."
"Yeah. Alright, see you around! Bye."
"See ya!"
He turned around and kept walking. I was left with something just nagging, eating away at my brain. I feel like I know him or at least have seen him before because I never forget a face, but I just, can't figure it out.
I waited until i got to my car to find me keys this time. I found them and unlocked the door. The leather seats were so cold it wasn't even funny. I thought to myself, Why on earth did I get a car with black leather seats. It's so hot in the summer and freezing in the winter. What was I thinking? I started the car and rubbed my palms together, trying to warm myself up.
I sat there for a minute with just the sound of my thoughts and the engine. It was too quiet so I turned on the radio. "One Directions: You Don't Know Your Beautiful" came on. No. I flipped channels until one of My favorite songs came on. I listened to the last 30 seconds of it waiting for my car to warm up a little then when it was over and the commercials came on I put my car in drive and started to go. "Don't miss The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1 in theaters on November 21st. Tickets go on sale this Friday at 12. Don't miss it."
I Slammed on the brakes. They screeched. Luckily I was still in a pretty much empty parking lot. My head jerked and My car came to a sudden stop.
Holy shit. Was that... No. No, It couldn't be.
