DEATH BATTLE

Episode 17: Mai Shiranui vs Tifa Lockhart

Boomstick: Coming from a guy who's been thrown out of his fair share of bars, I warn you: do NOT piss on the Seventh Heaven floorboards with Tifa on guard.

Wiz: Smart choice, since Tifa is a master of close-quarters combat. Tifa is a Feint Brawler, adept at...feinting to catch her opponents off guard and surprise them with quick, powerful strikes.

Boomstick: Besides her, you know, huge...

Wiz: No!

Boomstick: ...damaging moves!

Wiz: Rrrriggghhhht. As Tifa traveled with her childhood friend Cloud to hunt down Sephiroth and save the planet, Tifa learned seven legendary techniques, the Limit Breaks.

Boomstick: Tifa's Limit Breaks include rapid-fire punches, flip kicks, water kicks, explosive throwdowns, and SUMMONING DOLPHINS WHO UPPERCUT PEOPLE? That's flipping awesome! And when Tifa manages to pull all that off, she charges and channels her power into one, single, explosive, deadly punch: the Final Heaven!

Tifa unleashes Final Heaven, defeating a Master Tonberry.

Boomstick: HA! SCREW YOU, MONSTER OF MY NIGHTMARES!

Wiz: Tifa is ready to fight at a moment's notice, and she even wears her signature leather gloves everywhere she goes just in case a brawl comes her way.

Boomstick: And if she wants to show you that she means business, Miss Lockhart busts out her two, round, beautiful, ultimate weapons--

Wiz: No, no, no, no--

Boomstick: --the Premium Heart!

Wiz: Oh. The Premium Heart greatly increases Tifa's striking power, and its power even increases every time Tifa takes damage and builds Limit energy. However, this comes at a price: after Tifa uses her Limit Breaks, this power boost disappears.

Boomstick: Oh, isn't that a problem? It sure is...if she didn't also have MAGIC!

Wiz: In the world of Final Fantasy VII, there are a wide variety of magic and ability-granting gems called Materia. Any party member can wield any Materia, and no character has a standard Materia set-up, thus it is up to the game's player to decide who gets what. However, thanks to the Final Fantasy fighting game Dissidia Duodecim, we can conclude that Tifa prefers to carry Fire and Ice Materia into battle.

Boomstick: These Fire and Ice Materia let Tifa conjure and shoot...fire and...ice. Combine that with her freakish superhuman strength, and she's nigh-unstoppable.

Wiz: Well, I wouldn't say that. Despite her insane strength, Tifa's speed and defense stats are somewhat lacking, making her somewhat of a glass cannon. But to help make up for her frailty, she wears two armor pieces. She wears a ribbon on her right arm in memory of her late friend Aerith...

Boomstick: PLEASE! I BEG OF YOU! DON'T BRING ME TO TEARS AGAIN!

Wiz: ...which protects her against all negative status effects, except for Instant Death attacks. Tifa also wears the female-exclusive Minerva Band, which greatly mitigates damage and nullifies all fire, ice, holy, and gravity-based attacks.

Boomstick: Well, glass cannon or not, Tifa's accomplished some impressive stuff. She's strong enough to lift Sephiroth's ultimate god form and throw giant Weapons around like they were just pieces of paper. She's also escaped the nigh-inescapable Death Chair, gone toe-to-toe with one of the three Remnants of Sephiroth, led AVALANCHE in Cloud's absence, survived a dip in the Lifestream, and helped stop Hojo and the Mako Cannon!

Wiz: And there was that one time she helped throw Cloud through the air for him to reach the flying summon, Bahamut SIN. Even with help, Tifa's throw helped Cloud achieve the speed of sound, because a Mach cone had formed around him.