바로 그 날 .. [ On That Day .. ]

미안해 .. [ I dare not to / I'm sorry ]

The day after the quarrel, I decided to bring _________ out to pick up some groceries with me at the minimart opposite our house. Whenever I bring him along, people would always think that he is less than 2. Well excuse you, my baby boy is going 3 in 2 months time. It was an amazing sight for me to watch _____ grow up. Seeing him being able to talk at an early age impresses me. Maybe he got it from Baekhyun? Honestly, I have to admit. I was rather pissed and annoyed at the remarks given by people. Mainly because all I wanted to see was my prince growing up. I want to see him grow up into a handsome young man who is taller than me because all I'm waiting for is that day. That day when he grows much taller than me and he can then pat me on the head, just like how I do it. Softly and gently. No matter how long it takes, as long as I'm alive, I will be waiting for that day to come. 

                                                                              ***********************

I spoke a little during that short trip. Just a little. I always buy things from our minimart as it is the nearest and it has most of the items i need. I rarely needed to visit the huge supermarket which will take me 10 minutes if I were to walk. The minimart was relatively big for a neighbourhood minimart. The highest shelf is about twice my height though they merely put their stocks up there. Each lane in the minimart can approximately fit about 4-5 adults to walk. _____ as usual, will always ask me some questions such as " Eomma, where do milk come from? " " Eomma why is chilli spicy? " Most of the time, I just simply answered to his questions by nodding.

________ pulled me to the Toy section. I eyed the toys until I laid my eyes on a doll. I reached out for it and stared blankly. _____ picked up a car,pointed to the box that I was holding on to and said, " Eomma, that's for girls. " His voice snapped my thoughts and I quickly placed it back on the shelf.

The hair of the doll was blonde that resembled a barbie doll's hair colour. The doll seemed to be smiling at me.  Buy me .. Buy me for your daughter .. I thought I heard it saying. She was asking for me.

" Eomma, you're too old for this. " _______ said. I just smiled. " Eomma, let's go now. "

I laughed. As we were making our way to the cashier to pay for our groceries, I saw the elder brother standing between the younger sister and a gang of thugs. I saw the elder brother wiping off the tears of the younger sister. I saw the elder brother fetching the younger sister home in his car. I saw the younger sister, during her wedding, expressing her gratitude to her elder brother. I never had the opportunity to do that. Maybe ____[name of your not-yet born baby]____ would have this opportunity.

" Eomma, am I going to have a little sister?”

I nodded, shook my head and nodded again. “ I don't know. We’ll see how it goes..”

________ spent the next hour constructing stories. He told me what he would do if his sister were bullied; he told me what he would do if his sister did not excel in her studies; he told me what he would do if his sister were crying. The stories reminded me of my broken family; the days when I had to cry alone in my room and talk to the soft toys that had become my imaginary siblings. I did not want _________ to be another me.

According to The Concise Oxford Dictionary published in 1990, a “white lie” is “a harmless or trivial untruth”.

Would you lie if you were me?

The first sentence that Baekhyun said when he reached home that night was, “How was it?” I blinked a few times, glanced around the living room and headed for our bedroom. I would usually leave the door open, but that day, I closed the door. The room seemed to have become smaller. The bed and the table at the side grew in size and the walking space seemed narrower. I hoped that there would be no space for Baekhyun to walk.