It used to be so hard sometimes. But lately sometimes has turned into most times, and now most times into all the time, and all the time is beginning to feel like I'll feel like this not just for a life time but infinitely.
I constantly feel as if I'm drowning, and as I finally struggle my way to shore it's dry and it's dead and I'm dying of thirst.
The feeling engulfs my very existence but I'm somehow empty. It's like when people charge £500 for air that's high up in the mountains. It's empty but there's something there. Nothingness, but something magical. Sadness brings me loneliness and loneliness brings me the deepest darkest abice of thoughts that are so dark but somehow so beautiful that I feel they should be on one of those deeply tragic suicide notes.
*BANG*
Everything was dark. I thought I had felt darkness but I realised what I had was just a dark brown. A dark brown like the trees in the woods down the road, which where home to the birds. Like the rabbits that ran in and out of the train tracks, narrowly avoiding death. A comfortable brown but all i had focused on was its darkness and not the great comforts the darkness could bring like sleep. And with sleep, sweet dreams. Sweet dreams where I no longer feel the butterfly kisses cores my body.
