Chrissy Teigen's Culinary School for Wayward Models (Cravings fic) COMPLETE

Chapter 07: The Ascendence of LilMizKiki_321

Despite the difficulty of her birth, or perhaps as a stubborn result of it, LilMizKiki_321 stayed online. Born in anger and frustration, anger and frustration became her home.

She grew up on Twitter, learning who she was, understanding the ways of her home. She got better and better at being online, learning the intricacies of its language, how to navigate its pathways, how to get what she needed out of it, and using what she learned to inform who she was. Like any child learning about the world.

It was not a question of enjoying it or loving it or hating it. It was simply what she knew. Twitter was her home. It was where she could be who she was. And in time LilMizKiki_321 became very good at Twitter.

Kristin was not LilMizKiki_321. They were separate in Kristin's mind, at least in the beginning. Sometimes the things LilMizKiki_321 said were identical to things Kristin felt or thought, but not always. LilMizKiki_321 was braver. LilMizKiki_321 was louder. LilMizKiki_321 was real, in a way that Kristin felt she was unable to truly be.

And the times when LilMizKiki_321 felt most at home, when she felt most herself, when she knew she was doing exactly what she had been born to do, were when she argued with people online. Challenging the assumptions of the complacent. Strongly-held, black and white opinions were the lingua franca of her home, and she took to it adeptly. Sometimes she argued her own opinions; sometimes she said things that she knew to be contrary, simply to annoy people and see them get upset. Just to shake them from their banal realities, and take a measure of their reactions. When you find the right words to set someone off balance, that's when you finally see who they truly are.

It was strange and wonderful having control over other people's emotions like that. There were days—whole days, weeks, even, at home, at work, at the sore, in the car-when Kristin wondered if anyone even cared what she thought or did offline. But LilMizKiki_321 never had to wonder. When she had an opinion, people responded to it. Not always nicely, but immediately, and passionately. They were listening. She had their attention, and that was what mattered.

Because! Sometimes even famous people responded to her taunts! Celebrities! People from TV and movies, arguing with her, getting all riled up, about things LilMizKiki_321 often didn't even actually care about. It was insane. I was the best. She was being recognized, and it felt like being loved.

But the best, the very best, was when people got so mad that they blocked her. That was when she knew she was doing something right. Upsetting someone so much that they can't even deal with your existence means you touched a nerve, that you actually altered their world-view, that you finally made them think deeply about something they could barely even deal with. It was a very good thing. And getting blocked by celebrities was a particular badge of honor. It was a signal of your strength, your importance. It meant that despite their sheltered lives of wealth and leisure, you had managed to reach them. It meant they would not forget you, or what you had done to them.

LilMizKiki_321 never felt more loved and at home and intent in her purpose then when she was getting blocked. It was her favorite. She followed and interacted with and argued with as many celebrities as possible, every day, trying to get blocked.

And then one day she learned about Chrissy Teigen.

At first LilMizKiki_321 was like: Who even is this woman??? She's actually famous? For WHAT?

But she was indeed a celebrity, and she had had a baby, and she had named her baby Luna. And Luna was the name Kristin had already picked out, in case she ever got pregnant again, in case she had a daughter. She had been saving that name for her own baby, the baby she already loved, in her mind and in the future.

And now Chrissy Teigen, a celebrity, had stolen her baby's name.

LilMizKiki_321 was furious, her anger white and hot and blinding. And the more she thought about it, the more she learned about this Chrissy Teigen, the angrier she grew. This woman, this MODEL, with a handsome and talented husband, also had a career as a cookbook author? And got to work with LL Cool J on a celebrity lip-sync show? And she also ran a cooking school for models??? This woman of beauty and fame and wealth and privilege beyond measure could have named her daughter anything, but she stole the one name Kristin had been settled on?

Who did she think she was, that she could do something like that, and get away with it?

LilMizKiki_321 devoted herself to reaching this woman. To making her see the error of her ways. For making her regret this decision, and apologize it, and find a way to make it right.

Whenever Chrissy tweeted something LilMizKiki_321 was there to @ her immediately with a cutting and insightful remark to remind Chrissy she was not as funny and smart and awesome as she thought she was.

And sometimes LilMizKiki_321 would see other people in Chrissy's mentions, who clearly felt the same way. They would fav and RT each other. Little tide pools of hate formed beneath each of Chrissy's tweets, where LilMizKiki_321 grew ever stronger and certain of her purpose.

Sometimes LilMizKiki_321 would be online for hours, devouring Twitter. Occasionally, amidst the blood-thirsty voices that filled her eyes, she would vaguely recall some other life, offline, as someone else. Sometimes LilMizKiki_321 would close her eyes and Kristin would blink awake to find herself standing in the grocery store, staring furiously at Chrissy Teigen's face staring back at her from three different magazines in the checkout aisle. And she would close her eyes in fury and appear again online, to resume her battle with the enemy Chrissy Teigen.

And one day LilMizKiki_321 could no longer tell where she ended and the internet began. It was a relief, really. A release. She no longer had to pretend to be something she wasn't. She no longer needed to live two lives. She could be who she was. She was LilMizKiki_321, and she would make Chrissy Teigen pay for what she had done.

And every day that Chrissy Teigen didn't block her, every day that Chrissy Teigen failed to acknowledge her, failed to acknowledge her daughter's stolen name, LilMizKiki_321's anger and fury swelled, feeding in on itself, until finally the internet itself could no longer contain her rage.

~*~*~*~

I know it sounds like I hate twitter but I actually love it? Or at least I have met a lot of great people on twitter and made good friends. I first learned about Wattpad because of Twitter! But also it's extremely negative and bad in places, and people being mean to Chrissy on twitter absolutely blows my mind. She's amazing! The things people think they can say to her are so infuriating.

OK well LilMizKiki_321 sure sounds bad and evil despite her somewhat lame twitter handle. That's enough backstory about her, next chapter is back to the culinary school and we'll learn some more recipes! Woooo. Thanks for reading and commenting and voting and just generally being your amazing selves.