Something To Hide (On Hold)

Prologue.

Authors note- I just want to take an brief moment to thank all the readers. My appreciation goes out to all fantastic people who are reading the chapters. I can't express enough, how much I appreciate you reading the chapters. I never thought I would be posting my writing but here I am. I hope you enjoy Something To Hide. I really want to be an better writer and write better stories. Taking the time out of your day to read my work means so much to me. Thanks so much!
Love Margaret.

Prologue-
Life is short but why do I spend the time I have left in fear? The tears don't release any of my pain. I lost hope a long time ago. I have nothing left to live for. Everything was taken from me. The worst part is having to conceal my pain. I have to dry the tears before anyone else sees it. Smother the pain so there's no remaining heartache in my eyes. I'm an expert at hiding pain, yet it doesn't get any easier. I've had enough practice these last 5 years. I wasn't the person worth fighting for. No matter what I do, nothing is worth the struggle and heartbreak.

There's darkness inside of all of us. It has imbedded and become a part of me. I can't save the last of the light. There's no one who will be able to save me. When the light fades, all the doubt and nightmares enter. It's during the day when I have to put up a false front. I have lie to people. So they don't believe anything's wrong.

I wish that anything can make me feel something besides pain. Love does exist but not for people like me. I continue making the same mistakes over and over. All I have left is my dreams. In them, light still exists. It takes form in a softened brilliance shining through the windows of a real home. An home where I belong and I'm not alone. I still dream of the possibilities of every choice I have made. Would I be here if I chose differently? Would I be be naive and still living in my confined small world?

Sometimes the only support you get is a hard unmoving wall. It's the only thing holding you up. Flashes of last night still replay in my recovering mind. The rattling of chains breaking still echo. The joyful feeling of freedom but also fear for the unknown. The light I haven't seen in years bringing vertigo. The desperate screams of terror and anger. Scarlet blood dripping from blades. My racing pounding heart and my overwhelmed senses. Stumbling half dead to freedom. Realizing how much time has passed since you've been gone. The deafening gunshots and wide glazed eyes. They stared so blankly up at you. Then finally, the silence that shatters your whole being.

My sweaty palms still cling to anything. Not really believing that I'm safe. Not believing I'm free from the nightmare I have lived through. I still feel those tight squeezing manacles. They have made permanent indentations on my wrists and ankles. Sores and scratches mar the red patches of skin on my bruising wrists and ankles. I'm still standing there shocked. With my mind whirling helplessly from the aftermath. My weak legs burn and nearly collapse as I learn how to walk again. I try to gain back my balance as I wobble to the mirror.

I stare at the girl that's now a woman, staring so gravely back. There's roughly healed scars carving a path through her face. Her skin is stretched so tightly over her cheekbones. It gives her an underfed and emancipated look. There's a purpling bruise on her left cheekbone. Her amber eyes flecked with hazel, stare so brokenly back. Her mahogany wild and tangled hair is still matted and blood crusted. I haven't taken a bath or shower in years. Her neck is littered with bruises and it looks so breakable. I hold up an hand to the light and the transparency makes my next intake of breath grating.

I collapse against the mirrors hard cold surface. My warm breath fogs up the mirror. The skin of my hand is slightly freckled. Dark blood is dried under the long ragged fingernails. I make a fist and I examine the callouses and scars. My hand comes up to brush the alien yet so familiar face. My stick like legs are shaking from terror, chill and shock. My aching body feels so weak from all the years of neglect. Everything is still flooding back to me. My pulse hasn't slowed down at all.

I'm afraid of the girl right in front of me. I have changed in the five years I was in The Cells. I can't keep living this way on the streets. Liam, Jess and Jenny all depend on me. I can't be this weak for them if we want to survive. Everyone has something to hide. Something they wish they hadn't done. We can't undo anything or change the past. Some of the secrets can destroy us all. I'm safe for now, but what about the future? The future is always unsure. I will always be afraid for what's to come. It can't be much worse than The Cells.

Dear readers,
Congratulations! You have made it to the end of my prologue! I'm so glad you have read it. It gives you an taste of my inner evil dark thoughts. Ummm... I mean my creativity and inner genius. What did you think about it? What did you like about it? What did you not like about it? Is it too confusing or boring? I hope you enjoyed it. I'll be posting again this Saturday.
Love Margaret.