Only Me

9-22-16

I sat on the inside of the seat with my best friend Madelyn by my side on the way back from practice in Roasailia. The hills rolled by, they looked so lonely even though they had other hills by them. I can relate, even though I have friends by my side they only see what they want to not the whole picture, not the problem, not the what's really there. I paused my music and pulled out my left ear bud to listen to a song playing on the bus radio. Thinking...."wish he noticed me", I thought. "What about the bet? it's been almost 3 weeks sense-"
My thoughts were interrupted when everyone started standing up to get off the bus, I forgot we stopped to switch busses. The schools did that to balance out the gas money or something like that. I threw my back pack over my shoulder it scraped against the back of the seat. I grabbed the handle of my grey adidas basketball bag, I pulled it up form between the seats. My ex let me go in front of him. I walk by him without giving a look. I was tired of how awkward he is by me. I just wish he didn't like me anymore. I thought breaking up with him would end it, it did for a while until the drama died down and feelings started coming back. It's been almost 9 months sense I broke up with him and he still has feelings.

The sky was filled with dark clouds the air from the open window of the Tekoa bus brought chills. The dark cloudy evening reminds me of how I feel about him not noticing me. The thought brings more chills and makes the evening look even darker. "I don't understand." As that thought came Madelyn tapped me on the shoulder. We were here I pulled my white and black backpack over my shoulder. There was more room between seats on the Tekoa busses unlike the small brown seats of the Rosailia busses. The bus hit a stop everyone jumped up.

My slides hit the sidewalk, I started to walk towards the car. Madelyn behind be yelled "By Seren."
"Bye." I said with a wave of the my right hand towards her.
Then turned and started walking the separate direction.

That night I staid up until 10 drawing. Forgetting my homework, forgetting the time, forgetting today. I couldn't stand anything anymore I had to express my feelings onto the paper. "I just can't let him go." I said to myself. A tear ran down my face like light rain which turned into a storm of tears.
I'm a freak. I cried in the darkness for what felt like forever until I found rest.