Until Then

Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

Kenneth

My eyes are on Lucas as he motions for us to retreat behind the building. I can hear the fast whistle of bullets flying by us as we make a run for it. I watch Liam run ahead of me and can hear the hurried steps of Mateo behind me. Amid all the chaos and bullets raining down on us, I feel a sense of peace. I'm with my brothers doing what I feel I was born to do, and if it's my day to die, then my only hope is that I go first.

I can feel the rough terrain beneath my boots as I run in the direction of the sun, hating the way it beats down against my face and nearly blinds me when I look up one last time to make sure Liam made it to Lucas and Wes safely. I'm relieved when I see them both screaming at us, motioning with their hands to hurry. I turn my head back to check on Mateo and as if the sun has exploded, white light surrounds me. I close my eyes tightly, the overwhelming radiant glow is too much.

Suddenly the world grows quiet and the burning heat of the desert seems to give way to the cool comfort of a spring afternoon in Texas. I open my eyes and find myself in the living room of my old house. Everything is just as it had been that morning I found my father making pancakes for Juliet. I can hear noise coming from the kitchen and can sense his presence so strongly just as I had that final day with him.

I know the way by heart, the rooms of this house are embedded deep in my memory. The same brown carpet covers the floor and I can hear the sound of cartoons coming from the small kitchen TV. I step onto the worn linoleum floor and brace myself for what I'm about to see.

"Ken." My father's voice is just as I remembered it all these years. It's been so long I've often wondered if I'd recognize it if I ever heard it again. I do. It's as if he'd never left.

"Dad." I look up to see him leaning against the counter. It's just he and I now, the sounds of the TV are gone and while I expect to see Juliet at the counter with her pancakes, she's not here. I don't care how long I've been a man, the little boy in me runs for my dad's arms. He embraces me strongly and my soul feels at home as he pats my back.

"You did good, Ken. I'm so proud."

I pull back so I can look at his face. He's younger than I remember, the stress of the PTSD is absent from his expression. I'm afraid to let him go, afraid he's going to slip away from me again and nothing has felt better than hearing him say those words.

"I've missed you." I reluctantly let him go.

"I've missed you too. It's over now." He looks down at my uniform and I look to see what he's studying. Somehow I'm all cleaned up. My uniform is crisp and my hands are empty. Something isn't right.

"Am I dreaming?" I ask him. He shakes his head and for the first time since seeing him I can see sadness in his eyes. I nod my head. If this isn't a dream then I've died for my country.

"I'm sorry," he says softly.

"I'm not," I answer. I'd known it was going to happen. I'd even planned for it. All my affairs were in order before I left, and the ones that weren't I'd assigned to my friends and have faith they will carry them out for me. The only uneasy feeling I have is knowing Juliet and my mom were going to have to watch those dark sedans pull up outside the house and tell them I'm not coming home.

"They know." My dad's voice is steady as he answers the statement I hadn't said out loud.

"How?"

"It's faster there. We have nothing but time."

"So am I in Heaven? Is this it?" I look around quickly.

"No. Not yet. Soon. You're needed for something." My dad rests his hand on my shoulder and smiles at me.

"What is it?"

"I don't know. All I know is that I'll be here waiting for when you're ready." He moves away from me and I see the bright light return, only this time it doesn't hurt my eyes. I watch as my dad steps into it and then I close my eyes again, instantly thinking about Lucas, Liam, Mateo and Wes. With every ounce of hope in my heart, I pray they aren't seeing this light.

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