The Bad Boy's Girl (Now Available as a Paperback and ebook)

Chapter Thirty-Five: Screw Sherbet Lemon, Ice-Cream Is The Magic Word

It scares me.

"All I'm saying is that if you want to try being in a relationship with him again, you shouldn't hold yourself back."

Beth follows me into the kitchen as I check the fridge and the pantry. Once I'm sure that Travis won't go without food for at least a year, I turn to her.

"I'm not holding myself back. It's not even about Erica anymore Beth. I get it, I understand mistakes and I think I've come to terms with it and know why he did what he did but..."

"But what? Why can't you just give him a second chance? Don't you think he deserves at least that? The guy changed your world and that too for the better. He made you so happy. Isn't that worth anything?"

Of course it is. She's right; he did change my world and made everything better. But what she doesn't realize is that there's something so terrifying about loving a person like that. Because when you do fall for them, you fall with your entire entirety. Every single fiber of you is addicted to simply the presence of them; you would do anything for them, even stay when you know they could tear you apart with the flick of a wrist.

That's what the most terrifying part is. It's knowing that someone has that kind of power over you and jumping headfirst into the relationship anyway. The month I spent away from him, drowning in my misery and not caring about anything but my own broken heart isn't something I ever look forward to doing again. But something tells me that if Cole and I were to get back together there would always, always be something that could send both of us spiraling back to what we just went through.

The crux of it all is that I am a big fat coward and don't want to do anything to fix that.

We both watch Cole from the kitchen window as he leans against my Jeep and stares into the distance. He looks better already than the last time I saw him but the guilt is gnawing at my insides. He has a different idea of what could happen between us than I do. What I want is to end the summer and go to college unscathed but something tells me he won't allow that. He's following me to the same college for Christ's sake. Does that sound like someone willing to let go?

An arm comes across my shoulder and Travis squeezes me to his side, "She can do whatever she wants, no pressure Tess."

He must have come from the back entrance, having gone out earlier to run some errands. I sink into him and nod into his shoulder. "Thank you, "I whisper.

"I've talked to him. He knows not to expect anything and just see where things go. You don't have to feel obligated to going back into a relationship with him. That's not the way to fix your problems."

I breathe a sigh of relief, thanking my lucky stars that I won't have to have that conversation with Cole now. Times like these make my grateful that my brother can be so dang protective. It helps when I choose to be a wuss so you won't hear me complaining.

Soon it's time to leave. Our first stop is New York where a friend of the family has an empty apartment for the summer. It's only a three hour and a half hour drive so we leave relatively late. I've been to New York before with my family but it's always been those stuffy trips with posh hotels and 10 pm bedtimes. Obviously I'm excited, especially knowing that I'll be in the city that never sleeps without my parents and more importantly with my best friends.

And Cole.

Alex is coming along too so it's no longer a girl's only trip. We invited Lan too but he said he'd meet us in the city rather than drive all the way there. Actually, what he specifically said was that he couldn't stand being around that kind of sexual tension. I'd nearly died of embarrassment when his eyes narrowed between Cole and me, a smug grin on his face.