Mountains

Chapter 1, part 1

June 16, 10:05 AM

When I wake up, it feels like I am flying in a strange world of white and gray. Everything around me is blurry, I can't seem to distinguish anything except a small light maybe coming from a window. I can only feel and hear what seems to be my heavy breathing and those continuous beeps coming from something right next to me. My left arm and my nose are tingling, meaning I might have something plugged into them as my chest slowly rises up and down, letting a small whining escape my lips every time. I decide to close my eyes and get everything in my head together but it just seems like my brain absolutely wants to know where I am and what I could be doing.  I know too well where I am though. I recognize the smell of the room and the feeling of this weird bed I'm lying in. I decide to open my eyes and when I do, I let a big sigh out.  

There we go. This is the fourth time I collapsed since the beginning of this year... I woke up yesterday night at around 7:00 PM in a hospital room, feeling completely lost. Weirdly, I can't remember anything that happened that day and was only told that "old" air got trapped inside my lungs like it always does but I still have no idea where I was and what I was doing. I mean, I tried to remember and tie the nots together but it just seems impossible, no matter how hard I try. It's not too bad though, I can still ask my parents and my siblings when they come to see me because I didn't get to see anyone last night, the doctors said I needed to sleep immediately but I didn't feel a bit tired. Actually, I just laid down on my bed doing nothing for  hours, being trapped in all those weird machines who show my chest pressure and heart rate... 

Right now, I'm just feeling dizzy. I can feel all the medicine I had to take running through my blood and the cold air coming from the tubes connected to my nose, which they should come and take away soon considering I'm fully conscious. I woke up with a dozen texts from my friends saying they hoped I will recover fast and that they will come visit me as soon as they can. My best friend, Agnes, sent me a bunch of pictures of us two hoping it would make me feel better. I also checked through my "squad"'s group text and was happy to see that when she told them about me, they were all planning to come and see me. Now, I just have to wait for them to come. After five minutes, I realize they probably don't know I'm awake so I decide to text them : 

"Hey guys. I'm feeling better, come whenever you want... If you want to..." 

I know coming to visit me isn't the happiest thing to do but most of them still come, being the awesome people they are. 

This time, weirdly, I have to wait a little while before getting a reply. I check my phone again and realize it is Tuesday, which means I missed at least two days of school. Again.  Every time I am admitted in the hospital, I hope I don't stay in for too long so I can catch up with classes and friends easily and not fall behind like I did when I was 13. 

Basically, I had to be admitted for not one, not two, but three weeks and right after were a two weeks holiday and most of my friends weren't staying home in Reykjavik like I was. When they all came back, it felt just like I missed out on an entire year. New people had arrived, arguments had happened and so many plans had been made without me. Most of my friends have changed now considering I'm not in the same school anymore and things are better but I still hate seeing their snapchat stories when they all go out while I'm stuck in those machine. It makes me feel like a complete outsider even though I shouldn't, like they always tell me. 

I just have been writing and doodling for the past hour but right now, I hear a knock on my door.