All Eyes

All Eyes||Chapter Thirteen

Anger and rage at everything,

At everyone,

At myself.

And I cried, which totally scared me but I didn't care. I couldn't care because Darcy laid lifeless on my bed with my bag of cocaine in her hands.
Everything was spinning around me and I found it extremely hard to breath. I clutched on the sink with tight fists, inhaling sharply and exhaling shakily.

Her smell was floating around in the air, her wide eyes and blue lips.

Her lifeless touch.

I could have stopped her.... I could have stopped him.

I could have done something,

Anything.

And I found myself snatching the razor I use to shave my face, forcefully taking out the blade and cutting my fingers in the process.

The last thought in mind was to go find Darcy and apologize to her.

If she still loves me.

And I don't know what I was thinking, which apparently I wasn't doing as I slid the blade vertically across my forearm, creating a big gash across my pale coloured skin.

And I watched it bleed and bleed, my body ignorant to the sensation of pain that seeped through my being. And I remembered my eyes staring and wandering around my surroundings, and I was completely confused for a good twenty minutes.

I didn't remember where I was or what I was doing and I totally panicked when I saw the blood oozing out of the mad gash across my arm.

I didn't even remember who Darcy was.

Until I remembered I was stumbling around the bathroom like a mad cow, and then I fell to the ground banging my head against the bathtub in the process.

And the last thing I saw before I got knocked out was Darcy's wide smile.

And I thought I was going to die with that as my last memory. And for the record, I thought I was going to die happy. Until I woke up in a hospital bed, the smell of medicines and the blinding lights everywhere, with a pale gown that barely covered my body and my left arm covered in bandages and stitches.

They thought they could stitch me up, but they didn't know it wasn't the loss of blood that's gonna kill me.

It was losing her that's gonna murder me alive.

Because I could barely breath, knowing she isn't there anymore, and that it was my fault,

And only mine alone.

My eyelids snapped open and the sound of muffled yells got me standing on my feet in a dash. I stumbled a bit, leaning slightly against the bathroom door to steady my body as I kept on listening to the sound of familiar muffled yells.

And I tore the door open, following the sound I could barely hear over the loud music coming from downstairs.

I stopped in front of a wooden door that belonged to one of the rooms, leaning slightly against it and pressing my ear against the wood. I could hear yells and 'no's' being mumbled. The sound of footsteps and banging against the walls made my eyes widen.

And I had a slight feeling about what was going on inside. And I wasn't going to let it happen again.

I wasn't going to just watch. Again.