The Little Wolf

The Cage of the Soul

King's Landing

It was a few days later when she was caged again. 

Her soul found its way back into her scar-riddled little body, and she emerged with her old Maester sitting beside her, his eyes painful with worry. The week was absent from her, the day her soul escaped a blur. Still, the icy stare and morbid fear of the monster in her mirror remained. 

That dreadful night, all that was heard was the shattering of glass and Lyra's terrified scream. Her father, among several others, entered her chamber to find her crumpled in a ball and bleeding, shaking violently, repeating, "The monster, the monster, the monster". 

Maester Leland, an Outsider like Lyra, understood what was happening, and watched her soul retreat that night. To put her into a deep, dreamless sleep, she was given a few drops of Essence of Nightshade, and all they could do was hope her soul would return.

The butterfly in her mind vanished, and the darkness changed to blurred colour. 'I'm free', Lyra echoed in the silence, 'I'm free".   

"I'm caging you again, my child", a muffled voice replied.

The room where she lay prone swam up to meet her, the brightness of the day cutting through the darkness she'd soared through.

She felt his presence beside her, and instantly felt safe. The grey of his eyes was the tone before her world went black. "You are caged again, my sweet Lyra, for you are not ready to soar. An important destiny awaits you", his gentle voice informed her.

A deep sadness flooded her. She had never felt so empty, so trapped. Like a bird with its wings clipped, peering through the bars of a cage, dreaming of the breeze. 

 "My soul is an animal, my body the cage", the little girl replied monotonously. Being "caged" was a term common among Outsiders, as their souls frequently itched to escape the confinements of reality, a feeling that was strong in youth, when all the child wanted was to be free. 

"Briefly, my child, you escaped. 'Soul's Escape' isn't a condition or state to take lightly", the old Maester uttered. "You should consider yourself lucky your soul returned to you, I've known many who have been lost forever, their soul floating away."

Before long, but after a lengthy silence from Lyra, Maester Leland began to heave himself out of the chair, before groaning, "Now, I must find your father, he shall be most pleased to hear of your soul's return."

After a long pause, Lyra finally asked, rather hesitantly, "Where...is Lev?"

Leland became stationary suddenly, refusing to turn around, as if he was thinking of what to say before finding an answer for his young student. Then he spoke, almost harshly, "You lost him, you find him. He is your soul."

Lyra felt tears build up in her eyes, and she was reluctant to ask- "I-is he d-dead..?"

"Lyra, my dear one, if Lev were dead, a part of you would be too. You are merely sad in his absence, it is a different feeling to lose a Helai. An Outsider who loses their Helai, you must remember, loses their soul. They become one with a morbid fixation, beings with no empathy, it is speculated they lose their inner-being. Therefore, due to how you are today, since your soul as re-entered your body-was caged again- I'd say he is nearer than you feel. You are too young to know his presence in your heart, but it will come." 

Maester Leland continued on his path to the door, but was interrupted again by a question from Lyra that shocked him.

"Maester, am I evil?"

He almost choked on air caught in his throat. However, deep down, he knew Lyra would ask such a thing, because, perhaps he'd questioned it as well. This time is was Leland who offered a long silence. 

"I...I don't know what it all means, my child. The voices you hear, the dead that follow you, the monster in your mirror. What I do know, however, is it is up to you. You will change as life changes, and then I know you will decide."

"You know, though, don't you. You know about my destiny, you know what I will become."

"Perhaps, Lyra, but-"

"Am I the Monster?" Lyra interrupted, "Am I the monster, and am I evil?"

Maester Leland shuffled over to the bed, waving his hand gently as if to quieten her. "Shh, my child, listen to me: It is up to you". He enunciated the words to ensure she heard properly.

Lyra, caught in a blur of panic, interjected, "Was the monster in the mirror my reflection".

"Ah, my child, I'm saddened to tell you, though I may be educated, I am unsure what the monster means, what it is to you, and what you are to it. Alas, I am unable to say anything more of comfort. Only that you have not just one wolf within you, you have two. A good wolf and a bad wolf. Feed the one you must, and then you will know if you, too, are what you deem 'good' and 'bad'". 

"What is good and bad? What do they mean really?" Lyra said softly, almost to herself. Again the Maester stopped, and positioned to face her, with a look of admiration this time.

Lyra continued, "I mean, what if the good people turn bad, and the bad people were once good. There is no strict place for them, is there? There is a thin line. An easy one to cross, and return."

"You are wise", Leland breathed, "That is why your Helai is commonly an owl. He changes species like the wind, but he knows what you are at heart-a wise old soul. It will become most useful as you meet your destiny."

He reached for the door, and swung it open. His Helai was standing sentry by the door, as an inconspicuous brown frog on a wooden table. Lyra smiled, and waved as her Maester left to fetch her father.

Once the door was shut, she softly whistled Lev's special tune to call him. However, nothing came, and the feeling of loneliness returned. Once more, she tried again, still to no prevail. It was then that she heard it-a soft chirping sound. She leaped out of bed and rushed over to the window, flinging it open. There she saw him- Lev- in the form of a little white bird, standing proudly, arguably larger in size and stance then last Lyra saw of him. She'd grown up a lot since the latest appearance of the monster, and, therefore, so had Lev. 

Lev flapped onto her bandaged arm, and Lyra tried to kiss his head, but he  moved away and rubbed his head under his wing in disgust. Lyra, at last, found herself giggling at him, at the personality within him. 

Though she was caged, trapped once more in the dungeon of her body, her soul was at peace.