My Lost Hero (Angels of War Series #1) REWRITING 2024

Chapter Twenty

"Work," I replied, not in the mood to explain myself.

That puzzled him. "You're going in today?"

"Yes."

"Do you think that's a good idea?" he said, genuine concern to his tone when he stepped forward to pull me into his arms.

He must've seen the bitterness in my eyes when he thought better of it to let his arms drop to his sides. I moved my handbag strap, so it sat at the top of my shoulder and put on a brave face. "I want to keep my mind occupied, and it's my first day. I can't call in sick."

He tried to smile. "I'm sure that the circumstances would be a valid enough excuse."

"I need to keep my mind busy," I repeated, itching to get out of that door.

"Right, well, so long as you're sure," he said, and I had used that as my excuse to rush out of the place.

And, as I locked up the library door for the day at 5 o'clock that evening, wondering what awaited me back at the flat. On the bus journey home, I stared at my phone, going through old pictures, videos and messages from my best friend with tears in my eyes and a half-smile on my face. It had only been a day, and I missed her like crazy.

The living room floor was full of pictures when I stepped through the door, my eyes catching onto a younger Megan on some of them when I used the wall as a balance to slip off my shoes. Joshua sat cross-legged on the carpet with Tulia, who had a bundle of Polaroids in her hands, sitting beside him.

They both looked up, but I used my handbag as a distraction once again as I hurried off into the kitchen. I threw down my bag onto the floor and pulled a bottle of white wine from the fridge to get myself a glass. The alcohol was helping to settle me slightly as I kicked back and leant against the kitchen cupboards, glass in hand.

"Tabby," Joshua's voice startled me. My eyes levelled from the floor to his when he asked, "Hey, how was your first day?"

My eyes dropped from his pleading ones to my wine glass. "It was okay. Dragged a bit, but I expected that."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Today seemed to go on forever." There was a shakiness in his voice that I didn't like. It made me want to go over there to comfort him, but then my confidence wouldn't let me in case he rejected me.

I sighed. "Yeah."

"I keep seeing her around this place," he blurted, motioning to the surrounding space with a distraught expression.

My resolve melted at the crack in his voice as I agreed with him. "Me too. I keep wanting to call out her name and tell her about my day."

"Me too," he whispered.

I sipped more wine, watching his feet shuffle back and forth against the tile floor. My head tipped up when Tulia shouted for him, saying she had found the 'perfect one', whatever that meant. Joshua didn't call back but left the room as I kept peering at my feet. When I heard their gentle laughter, my eyes closed on instinct, and I downed the wine in one go.

Don't let me go.

...

Two days later and nothing had changed. I was going to work while Joshua stayed at home with Tulia beside him. They hadn't left each other's side, which my sister believed was because Tulia could relate to his grief because of her brother's PTSD.

I thought it was a load of bollocks. I didn't know what was going on and to be honest with you, I couldn't find the energy within me to find out. As long as I had wine to keep me company, then I was a-okay.