Secret Admirer

Chapter 11

"You have no idea how fast my heart beats when I see you."

Ethan Miles

When My Bronyx called out my group, I was really looking forward to it. Elise and I had done a similar project in Year 8 and so we would most likely do really well. But when I walked over there and saw her face, it was clear that she was still mad at me for some reason or another and so I was afraid to say anything, scared that she'd jump down my throat, even though she isn't that kind of person. When Elise is mad at you, she's quiet and doesn't say much, which can be even worse than having her yell.

Optimistically, I thought that it was possible to spin her around so that she wasn't mad at me anymore. I figured then, she'd be calmer and I might actually be able to confront her about being pissed at me. She'd been acting strange since Olivia and I started going out and I didn't know what to think. I mean, why would she be mad about something like that? We were just friends after all. Unless she felt like a neglected third wheel - which wasn't my fault since she was the one avoiding us.

In class, she would sit on the other side of the room and I'd catch her glancing our way a few times. It was infuriating, like she wanted to say something but couldn't. It was like she thought I was an idiot, like what she was doing wasn't noticeable at all.

The school fair was coming up and there were going to be heaps of stalls all around the place - ones selling cotton candy, others selling popcorn and many where you could go to play games. Of course, I'd asked Olivia if she wanted to go and she'd said yes. The fair was that Saturday, two days away. Tomorrow was Friday and I was hoping that I could flip Elise around by then so that she'd come along too.

Friday afternoon, I came home after a gruelling football practice. I was drenched in sweat as I carried my gym bag into my bedroom. I quickly hopped into the shower, eager to get the disgusting smell of BO away from me. I hadn't spoken to Elise much that day since we didn't have many classes together, aside from Engineering in first session. In that one class though, I made and effort to talk to Elise. I made jokes, reminded her of old memories, I did everything I could to get her to talk to me. Each time, she just replied with a grumbled one-word answer. And when she laughed, it was forced and it didn't come easily. I could tell she was purposefully not looking at my face. She did though, once or twice. But then her face would cloud over and become guarded.

By 9:00pm, I lay down in bed and reached over for my phone, pulling the black duvet up to my shoulders. I went into my messages and opened a text from Olivia.

O: Hey babe, I'm so sorry but something came up and I can't go to the fair tomorrow. I'm so sorry. Love you! xo

Me: Oh ok. Is everything alright? I might just ask Elise if she wants to go.

O: Ok cool, sounds good. Yeah everything is fine, don't worry about me! <3

I opened a new message to Elise.

Me: Hey Elise, is everything ok?

I sat there for a few minutes, starting to lose hope that she would reply. Finally, a message came through.

El: Yeah.

Me: Good.

Once again, a few long minutes passed. It felt like an eternity.

Me: So uh... I was wondering if you wanted to come with me to the fair tomorrow. We used to go all the time when we were kids, remember?

El: Yeah I remember... I'm not so sure if I'm up for it though. And what happened with Olivia? I thought you were taking her.

Me: Oh yeah, something came up and she had to cancel. So are you in?

El: Sorry Ethan but I gotta go.

Are you kidding me? I was trying to talk to her, to smooth things out and she just spat it back in my face. It was then that I realised I had one last shot and I wasn't going to back down.

The next morning, I got ready and put on a pair of khaki pants, white sneakers and a grey sweater. It was a bit chilly that day. I got in my car and drove into a col de sac. I walked up to the front door like I was on a mission and knocked on the door with a heavy fist. Elise opened the door with a shocked expression on her face. "What are you doing here?" she asked with wide eyes.

"What the heck is going on with you? Are you pissed at me or something?" I asked, sounding more accusing than I meant to. Her mouth fluttered open and shut, like she wanted to say something but didn't know what. "Can you tell me what's wrong because all you've been doing lately is avoiding me and I don't know what I've done!"

"You haven't done anything Ethan," she said. She proceeded to shut the door in my face but I put my foot in the doorway.

"Look I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell. It's just you and I haven't spent much time together for the past month or so now and I just want to know why you've been acting so.... guarded." Her big brown eyes stared into mine.

"I'm sorry Ethan," she said.

"The fair is starting in half-an-hour. Can you please come? I don't want to be walking around on my own," I said, pleadingly. My friends were going to be there but I wasn't in the mood for their company. After muttering okay, Elise invited me in and told me to sit on the couch in the lounge while she went upstairs to change. When she came back down, she was dressed in black pants and an elbow-length maroon shirt with her hair in a plait.

We got back in the car and I pulled out of her driveway. Our favourite song, Billie Jean by Michael Jackson was on but she just started out the window gloomily and so I kept my eyes focused on the road, neither of us muttering a single word.