The Perfect Double Suicide (Dazai X Reader)

Second Attempt

NotHuman: Morning!

Reader: Good morning (⁎˃ᴗ˂⁎)

NotHuman: Have you eaten breakfast already?

NotHuman: You take ages to type.

Reader: Of course! Breakfast is the most vital meal for the day!

NotHuman: Nerd ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ｱﾊﾊ

Reader: Bully TT.TT

Atsushi kept peeking at Dazai, sweat dropping whenever the older male would release a boisterous laughter.

Atsushi slowly crawled to Kunikida's desk, keeping his glance on Dazai.

"Kunikida-san, Dazai-san's scaring me." He whispered.

"I'm not that scared anymore." The blonde casually said, typing on his laptop. "He has been like that for almost two months now. I never expected him to be able to feel such things."

"Such things?"

"Isn't it obvious? Flushed cheeks, happy smile, vibrant aura, no desire for a suicide attempt..."

"You mean...?"

"He's drunk."

"... I don't think that's it, Kunikida-san."

"Then what?"

"It..."

----------------

"But doctor!" The little boy whined, grasping on my lab coat tightly. "I don't want the checkup to end! I want to stay here!"

His mother gave me an apologetic smile as she tried to drag her son away from me.

I released a small chuckle, patting the boy's head. "You can come visit again next month."

"But for now, be a good boy." I continued, handing him a small lollipop. "Okay?"

The little boy sniffed but soon nodded, taking the lollipop.

"...Promise?"

"Promise."

They left the clinic afterwards, the mother bowing to me a couple of times. There's nothing really to be ashamed of. Kids are like that. That's what makes them adorable and annoying at the same time.

Beep

Oh! A message from him!

I took out my phone from my pocket and scrolled through the messages I missed while doing a checkup.

NotHuman: I accidentally stepped on a cat's tail.

NotHuman: It scratched me! Haha! ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ｱﾊﾊ

NotHuman: Hey, are you alrigjy?

NotHuman: Why aren't you replying?

NotHuman: DID YOU GET ABDUCTED BY ALIENS?