Ice Cream, Again

 Her chubby hands clutched the tiny pink backpack firmly pressed against her chest. She could feel the cushion that was her puffy Easter dress poorly folded inside. Restless legs that could not quite reach the floor swung back and forth with anticipation underneath her desk. As soon as her teacher dismissed the class for the afternoon, the young girl would race to the bathroom to change out of her play clothes and into the pastel gown. The weather was nice that day; she knew Daddy would enjoy it as much as she.

Once dressed, the girl eagerly stuffed her clothing into her bag before skipping to the mirror to approve of her work. The light pink and purple pattern accented her dark skin. She reached up to tug at the tight coils on top of her head, stretching the tendrils to make her hair appear longer. She wanted to make another good first impression.

The girl did her best to focus on the sound of her sneakers hitting the sidewalk instead of the constant ache of having to introduce herself to Daddy again before she could even talk to him. She wished she could come home after school and just squeeze him tightly like her friends could to theirs. She wanted to be able to tell him all about her successful attempts at making baskets in gym class and how she caught her classmate picking their nose--and promptly eating it--without having to become friends with him again first.

Mama wouldn't be happy knowing she wasn't coming home on time every day because she wanted to see Daddy. Mama doesn't think she should see Daddy anymore. "Not while he's like this," she'd say. "You'll understand when you're older." It was unfair. A world without Daddy was like a flower without sunlight and felt like a world where birds don't sing.

The girl only thought Mama was being mean.

Once the duck pond was in sight, the girl sprinted as fast as her chubby legs could take her, pushing through families out on a stroll and older kids riding bicycles. Daddy's nurse was seated beside him on the bench underneath the big shade tree overlooking the pond. She was smiling at Daddy tossing bread crumbs to the ducks. The girl could hardly contain her excited giggles as she neared closer and closer. Maybe today would be the day Daddy didn't need to meet her again. Maybe today would be the day that he finally remembered her.

Daddy's nurse heard the girl approaching the bench and quickly stopped her before she got to Daddy.

"You know you can't run up on your father like that," Daddy's nurse halted the girl's excitement. "You could really frighten him." The girl pouted at this realizing he wasn't getting any better. And if he wasn't getting better, that meant he was probably getting worse. Daddy's nurse noticed small pools threatening to overflow onto the girl's cheeks at this, so she placed a hand on the girl's shoulder and offered the most sincere smile she could muster. "You're a determined girl, sweetheart. You might just be the medicine he needs, you know that? Shall I introduce you two again?"

"Yes please."

"It looks like we have a visitor," Daddy's nurse said to him. "Would you like to meet my friend Eveline?"

"Nice to meet you, Eveline," Daddy stuck out his hand to the girl, and she eagerly shook it. "That is a beautiful name. Eveline."

"Thank you," the girl smiled.

"Would you like to help me feed the ducks?" Daddy asked. "I don't get to do it often. It's pretty relaxing. You should join us!"

"Okay," the girl's smile threatened to crack, but she kept it glued in place. Daddy didn't realize he had been feeding the ducks every day this month. She hopped down on the bench right beside Daddy and took some bread crumbs from his dark, calloused hands. Today, his dark beard was trimmed and more gray was beginning to peek through. The girl watched as he pushed his round frames up the tip of his nose and adjusted his hat before tossing more of the ducks' treat into the water. "I love ducks."

"Me too," Daddy smiled like he did every day. The girl always knew what he asked after this. "Did you know that daddy ducks are called 'drakes?'"

Her smile faltered a tad bit as she said what she always said. "No, I didn't."

"You'd better believe it!" Daddy continued the conversation as scheduled. "And mommy ducks are called 'hens.' Do you know what baby ducks are called?"

"'Ducklings!'" The girl exclaimed. This part always made her happy. Daddy used to call her his duckling before he started forgetting. The small but significant memory resulted in her genuine smile to return, so strong, her cheeks began to hurt.

"That's right!" Daddy smiled his goofy, crooked smile. "You're a smart girl, Eveline."

"Thank you."

"Do you go to school, Eveline?"

"Yep!"

"Did you go today?"

"Yes, I did."

"Tell me something you've learned. My old mind isn't as bright as it used to be."

The girl stiffened at his words. Daddy had no idea. Mulling over the day's events, the girl eventually told him that no living thing can live without sunlight.

"You don't say?" Daddy's face lit up. "It only makes sense. Being outside makes me feel good."

"Me too."

"Do you like ice cream?"

"You bet I do!" The girl's tummy was already protesting at was was coming next.

"How about I buy you an ice cream cone?"

"That would be fantastic!"

There they were again. Daddy with his two scoops of butter pecan and the girl with a single scoop of cookies and cream. The girl talked about how her day was and Daddy talked about his--even though the girl already knew exactly how it went. Once the pair were out of bread crumbs, they went for a short stroll around the park, Daddy relying on his cane and his nurse not to far behind. Today's walk was the longest one they had been on yet.

Once it was about time for Mama to be returning home, Daddy's nurse made the girl say goodbye. The girl never liked having to say goodbye. Every time she said goodbye, she knew Daddy would forget her. Some days, she wanted to meet him again just to scream at him and beg him to please not forget his little duckling. She wanted to show him pictures of him holding her as a baby, even though Daddy's nurse said that would upset him. She wanted to throw the ultimate tantrum in the middle of the entire park and tell him she hated him for getting sick. She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs, kick the stupid bench they always sat on over, and free all of the tears she had been holding in for months.

But she didn't.

The girl told Daddy it was nice to meet him, grabbed her backpack, and shuffled home.   

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this was a weird thing to write and it isn't that good but i was in my feels and needed to express myself (i lowkey cried at the end) so um yeah i hope you enjoyed this