Reed & Roden

3 / admire

One of the things he admires the most about Reed is her passion for learning. She reads textbooks in her free time and studies in advance for her subjects in class. She's hardworking and diligent when it comes to her assignments and schoolwork—but the downside is that it drives her to hole herself up in the library during breaks that Roden doesn't get to see her often, and when she comes to lectures in the morning, the bags underneath her eyes are darker than the day before and her smiles are tired.

Frankly, it's worrying him. When he talked to her about it, she whispered, "I'm not the brightest bulb out there, Roden. I have to read a paragraph twice before I understand, I have to watch crash courses on YouTube and take twice as long as the video before I get an idea about what the heck the person's talking about. Please. If I don't want to make myself look like the idiot in class, I have to do this."

So Roden does it with her.

They're studying in her apartment now. Reed's spread out against the sofa with a book on her lap and a highlighter between her teeth. Her eyebrows are drawn together and her nose is scrunched in the cutest way possible. Roden smiles, faces the table again, and folds his feet underneath him from his spot on the carpeted floor.

Roden knows that this isn't a good idea. That the more time he spends with Reed, the faster the roots in his lungs take his breath away. But he'd rather be hurt than hurt Reed by avoiding her. She's going to be clueless, she's going to ask herself what she did wrong, why he won't see or talk to her, and she's going to be sad and she's going to cry. Roden can't do that to her. He won't be able to bear it.

He coughs a little before focusing back on the multiple papers he has to write and the presentation he has to work on for tomorrow. Because the toxicity of the flowers are making his body tired and weak, he's put off all his workload to the last minute. Usually, Roden doesn't have a problem dealing with all-nighters, but the Disease isn't giving him much motivation and energy to do anything productive for the past few days. Still, he's determined to get all of his shit done even when he's worried about swallowing flowers down all night long.

Because Reed can't know. No matter what, Reed can't know. That's his only fucking rule.

It's an hour and a half later, when he gets through one of his papers, that Reed speaks."I don't understand."

Roden turns around quickly. "Show me."

Because it's hard for Reed to say those three words out loud. It's when she reads the paragraph for a third time and she's still confused, and she needs Roden to explain it for her. When she says those words out loud...they're mumbled and shy, and when it happens, Roden is happy. Because she trusts him. Because she's learning. Because he doesn't make her feel like she needs to apologize or be embarrassed for needing to ask.

Roden goes over the paragraph with her until her eyes light up with understanding. "Oh," she says quietly, teeth capturing her bottom lip. "I get it now. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Come on, let's take a break and stretch. We should grab some burgers down the corner," Roden suggests, extending his hand out to the younger.

Reed looks at his hand for a moment. "Um, I think I'll pass."

"...you'll pass?"

"I'm not hungry."

"Bull."

"Did you know your voice sounds terrible?" she asks, lips turning up around the corners. "Do you have a cold? Or are you still not feeling well since movie night? You were looking kind of sick then."

Roden shakes his head. "It's nothing, I'm fine." He's not. If anything, he feels a lot worse.

"I'm fine, too. Really, I am."