I don't remember everything that happened to us, but I know one thing for sure: nothing will be as before. I was young and all was blurring, but I remember clearly that at one point everything changed and not for the better. My parents love all their there children equally. I have am older brother - Evan and younger sister - Amelia. I am the second child - Brin. I don't even think that such name should be given to a girl. Whatever. They, my parents, always had high expectation of Evan. For me he was like a super star. But Amelia was spoiled by all the attention. As for me... Well, I floated downstream. Nobody expected anything from me. They don't spoiled me. I would even say they rarely noticed I was there. For that, little by little I began to hand myself. I was a kid, I felt lonely, and I thought I would grow old and die in this soliude.
One night when I was twelve years old, I woke up from screams. My mother was angry and upset about something. I slipped out of my warm bed and a slight gasp. I looked at the little scratch on my hand, which was received while I tried to pet a dog. No, not a dog. Then I didn't know the difference between dogs and wolves. Anyway. Quietly I went to the door and got out of my room. In the hallway was dark, so I leaned to he walk. Nobody noticed that I came down and I was standing near the kitchen door. All of them seemed upset. For the first time I saw tears in the Evan's eyes. He was seventeen years old back then. I do not remember well the words that they exchanged that night but the next nothing my mom said to me and Amelia that Evan won't live with us anymore. I remember that day I tried my eyes. I did not to go to school. I did not want to leave my room or talking to anyone. My brother was my best friend and now he did not even say goodbye to me when he left. My heart was broken. Only a child, I knew what kiss is. He was not dead, but... He had chosen to walk away and leave me. Yet I couldn't hate him. How can I hate someone who I love the most?
***
Then everything become worse. I started to dream terrible nightmares and swoon. I wake up in the words covered in mud, wet grass and leaves. I don't remember anything. Mom and dad took me to the doctor and trampled me with drugs. They were not leaves me out of sight. I even remember the strange woman they brought me to. Her house smelled strange. Herbs maybe. She looked at me strangely. They whispered something all the time, but I managed to hear only one phrase from lips of my mother before she started to cry again. She said: 'I can't lose another child because of this nightmare!'
The woman, whose name was Grace McLane gave me a braselet and told me never to tear it down. She told me that I would feel better and that this trinket will protect me from bad dreams. I believed her. I was drinking and the pills that my parents give me. They were strict about that.
The years went by and I did not hear a word from my brother. I prayed for him to be well and happy. Mom and dad did not even mention his name as if he never existed. Not to mention that Amelia had almost forgot about him. She did not care. I was the only one who thought about him. Even ten years later, I still loved him and thought of him as none of this had happened.
At the insistence of my parents (Mark and Ellis Grimword) I enrolled in a local college. They did not want me being away from home. Before I thought that they just love me and worry about me, but now I felt that I was more like a prisoner in my own home and they were my guards. Always wanted to know whom I was with and where I go. They knew all my friends. I felt like they pressing were me.
Little by little the paranoia was obsessed me. I was beginning to think that everyone around me was watching me. Spying me. Maybe it wasn't just my imagination because mom and dad slipped to ask me questions but they behaved as if they knew everything I do. I started to freak out and I didn't like it. They suffocated me. There was nobody to talk about it. There was nowhere to go. I couldn't escape because they never left me alone. I started to hate my own existence. I just wanted everyone to leave me alone.
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Sorry, it's short first chapter. But I will update more...
