"I'm not tearing down my walls for anyone. You want to know what's inside? Climb."
Spencer Rose is as guarded as they come. With a past she'd rather keep hidin and a hometown she'd give anything to forget, college in Los Angeles is the perfect plac...
"Zoe." I said, turning around. "Jayden does not need to know my whereabouts every second of every day okay? We are not acutally dating. He does not need to keep running tabs on me all the time. And as for College, I'm already making a mess of that, might as well help myself along by not going in. That way I'll fail without actually having to hand in shit work. "
"Spencer!" Zoe cried.
"What?" I asked. "It's true."
"How are you even going to get a ticket at this short notice?" Zoe asked, crossing her arms over her chest.
"I took care of that when you were seeing Taylor out." I said, zipping up my suitcase. "All I had to do was tell them my name and give them my bank account details and they were happy to help."
"But you don't have a job Spencer!" Zoe cried. "That's my point!" How are you going to pay for this trip! You don't have any money!" I smiled at her.
"I have a job Zoe. It's called babysitting Jayden Grace."
"But you're suppost to be using that money to be getting yourself through college you know that! That was what you told me! How can you give it another shot if you throw it away now! I know your grandmother wants you there, but I think she'd want you to have a stable future even more. Who knows how long this contract is going to last. Spencer you need to save the money!"
"Zoe I make more then $900 a day okay? I'm going to be fine."
"But-"
"Don't worry about me Zoe Toes." I said, slinging my bag over my shoulder. "Now. Did you call the uber?" Zoe let out a loud sigh.
"Why do I feel like everything I've just said has fallen on deaf ears?"
"Did you call the uber Zoe?" She scowled at me. Before she could say anything, the sound of a horn came from outside. "Ah!" I said. "You did call the uber! Thank you you kind human."
Just as I walked past her, heading for the front door, Zoe reached out and caught hold of my arm.
"Take care of yourself okay?" She said and I was surprised by the amount of seriousness in her voice. Zoe was never serious.
"Zoe, why are you so worried about me taking this trip?"
"Because you're already broken!" Zoe shrieked. "I don't want you to be broken beyond prepare! You haven't stopped to think about this, you haven't contacted Jayden which you know you should and you're acting perfectly normal when you should be lying in bed screaming!" I stared at her for a long while before I reached out and pulled her into a hug. She wrapped her arms around me tightly and rested her head on my shoulder. I ran my fingers through her hair and let out a sigh.
"I'm not broken." I said softly. "I'm just slightly cracked." Zoe lifted her head off my shoulder to stare me in the eye.
"You promise?" She asked. I smiled at her.
"I promise."
* * *
It turns out giving the airport my name did more than secure me a spot on a plane at the last second. It turns out that they had a private plane that wasn't being used at all that week. So when I tried to check myself in where I'd normally check in, I thought the lady at the desk was going to have a heart attack. She lead me into a private area where I met the poilet and the staff and I was then driven out to the plan in a flash back car. It wasn't nearly as nice as Jayden's, but it was getting there. Just the thought of Jayden made my chest ache. Zoe had been right when she said I knew I should be telling Jayden where I was going, but the idea of him knowing about my broken family made me cringe. He didn't need to know about my problems. He had enough of his own to deal with.
I text Zoe as soon as we arrived in Minnesota, though I didn't tell her how I was really feeling. In truth, I was terrified of seeing my old home town and of seeing my grandmother. I asked one of the flight attendants where the taxi cue was and she just looked at me like I'd grown a second head.
"There's already a car waiting for you miss." She replied. "It'll take you wherever you need to go."
* * *
When we arrived at Minnesota Central Hospital, I sat inside the car for a few minutes until the driver kicked me out saying he had things to do and places to go. Then I stood outside the surgery ward for about twenty minutes, trying to work up the courage to go in. When I finally did, the lady at the desk looked up and sent me a kind smile.
"Hello." She said. "Can I help you?"
"Hi." I said, twisting the handles of my shoulder bag through my fingers. "Um I'm here to see my grandmother, Mary Rose. She was admitted early this morning." The nurse scanned her files.
"You must be Spencer Rose." She said, smiling. "You're grandmother kept telling us you'd come." I smiled back weakly. "She's in room 115." Said the nurse. "Straight down the hall and the 2nd door on your right."
When I found it, I had to talk myself into opening the door. When I finally got it open and stepped inside, it was very very dark. The curtains were closed and there was a faint beeping of a heart monitor in the silence. I'd bearly taken a step after I'd closed the door when my grandmother spoke, her voice sounded raspy and tired.
"Spence? Is that you."
"Hey Nanna." I said, feeling my way through the darkness towards her. "How are you feeling?"
"About 105." She said and let out a raspy laugh. Then her hand patted it's way along the crisp white covers until it found mine. "I'm glad you're here my dear." I cover her hand with both of my own.
"Me two Nanna." I said softly. "Me two."
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
