Blessed Beyond All Time

Chapter One

I used to hope fairy tales came true. I used to live the lives in Romance novels, being taken away by the story, imagining I was the female character. Their exciting lives made me happy. They normally got their man. Well, most of them. I loved pretending that I was there, surfing, hanging out with friends, making goo-goo eyes at all the boys around. Sweaty, tanned chests, wash-board abs. Of course, I was the one lying out on a beach towel, taking it all in. The wind would blow back my long blonde hair, the sun kissing my skin. I'm sure I'd have on a very skimpy yellow bikini, my skin unblemished, and I'd have the perfect body. 

Then, I'd wake up from my amazing dream, look in the mirror and sigh. Holding up my hand, I'd look at my wrist, the fresh wound that I'd carved the night before glaring at me. Looking up at my reflection in the mirror, my brows would lower at my more than pale skin. I look washed out. Fading into the bland white painted walls around me. I sigh at the darkened circles embedded underneath my eyes, the way the light blues of my irises where once bright, and have dimmed over time. 

Having quite enough of looking at my visual misery, I flip off the light, walk into my small bedroom, and lie down on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. I didn't use to be this way. I'm not going to say I was a strong person but I will just say, I lasted this long. Even now, I'm unsure how I made it through junior high or even high school. Some say when your parents are mean and abusive the child (or children) have a better chance of turning out to be a bully or abusive when they become a parent -- follow by example. I say, that's a crock of shit. I'm not saying some won't but I think most draw into themselves or seek therapy, if one can afford that luxury. Me? I had no money to get the therapy needed. I drew into myself, became a shell of a person, and I was then bullied all through my school years, not wanting to defend myself. Cowardly, I suppose you might think that. But, until you've walked in my shoes, taken the beatings I did, and nearly drew my last breath, I'd ask you to reconsider your judgement.

"Sandi? You okay in there?"

Aubrey. 

She has no idea how much her friendship has meant to me, no matter how many times I've told her. She'll never know. Once I'd turned eighteen, my parents couldn't wait to shove me out of the house, even before I had a change to graduate from high school. I had nowhere to go, only a few dollars from what I'd saved, and only what I could manage to fit into a small suitcase. I had wandered the streets, miles and mile, until my feet were sore and blistered. The darkness of the lone two-lane road, swallowed me, until the headlights of an oncoming car blinded me. In this day and age, I was shaking with fear at who would stepped out of the vehicle once they'd opened their door. I must be the stupidest person, or maybe I just had no other choice. Relief flooded me when a girl stepped out with a concerned look on her face. She looked shorter than me however I'm not sure why since I was sitting on my suitcase on the ground. Without any questions, except asking if I was okay, she offered me a ride. But, it was in the opposite direction and there's no way in hell I would go back to that town. When I hesitated her kind gesture, she explained she was just going to drop something off and lived a few miles the other way. Without a word but a nod her way in thanks, I dragged my aching body up and picked up my suitcase, following her to her car. 

She never did ask me what had happened, that day, and did as she had said. We didn't go as far as my old town, but the one just a mile back. She dropped off a package and turned around, and as she had promised, she drove about three or four miles then pulled into a town I'd never been. Once she'd parked into a space in front of a fairly decent looking apartment building, she got out and I followed. 

"I'm good. Thanks, Aubs." I reply, knowing if I didn't answer she would get worried. 

She had put me up in her second bedroom, telling me she'd always wanted a roommate but not to worry about paying anything right away. She talked and talked, the whole time making a twin sized bed in her spare bedroom, never shutting up. I liked it. Since I'm normally quiet, I found it refreshing to listen to her, and not have to say anything. I've always been a private person, not because I necessarily wanted to be but out of necessity. Threats on a person's life will do that to you.

"Okay. Holler if you need anything."

Hasn't she done enough? I would have been embarrassed the way she could noticeably see the bruises on my arms and legs. I was too tired to care. I was free. For the first time in my life, I was free. I didn't need to worry about being awoken from a sound sleep only to have my body thrashed with a belt. I didn't need to fear anymore that I would walk into the school building and be stared at by a hundred eyes at my swollen nose or the large cut across my cheek. I didn't have to hear the whispers anymore or get cornered after school at my locker or when I walked home, being bullied. Something I could get at home. Who needed it at school, too? Even thought I found my new freedom a welcome change, once she wished me goodnight and that we'd talk in the morning, I couldn't help but lock the bedroom door. I didn't have a lock at home. I could have used that.

After time, she got me a job waitressing at the same cafe where she worked. I was so shy, so withdrawn, but, I needed money in the worst way. I didn't talk much but smiled at the right times. It was weird that this town's people seemed nice, friendly. It wasn't long that I could give her money for rent and actually contribute for food. We continued on, her constant chatting, and my silence. But, I loved the reprieve. 

My nineteenth birthday came and went without any fanfare. Not that my birthdays ever meant anything before anyway. I never received gifts, never a birthday cake, or even a "Happy Birthday" at my house. I might have received a punch or kick in the way of a gift instead. We never celebrated any holidays, my parents would go out and get drunk for their own birthday's celebrations. This was my life and I knew no other. I felt lost in this world, confused on what a normal life would be. I was enamored by Aubrey. She seemed what I thought as -- normal.

Closing my eyes, I feel, once again, relieved by my surroundings. Free. 

I still locked the bedroom door.